THE SHT NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT BABY 2

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The Sh T No One Tells You About Baby 2

Author : Dawn Dais
ISBN : 9781580056328
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 67.76 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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The third book in Dawn Dais's popular Sh!t No One Tells You series covers all a parent needs to know once the reality of having two children settles in. Around the time your first baby turns a year old your brain will turn on you. For reasons that are still not understood by science, the sleep deprivation and postpartum hormones you barely survived with your first baby fade from memory and will be replaced with idyllic images of your growing child. This is when your brain, having officially lost all regard for your well-being, begins to fantasize about a second baby. And for the first time since becoming a parent these thoughts don't make you break out in hives. Before you know it, you are dressing your first child in "I'm Going to be a Big Sister!" T-shirts and catalog-shopping for bunk beds. This will be fantastic! But then that familiar morning sickness kicks in. And your adorable 18-month-old transforms into a two-year-old terror. That's when those hives start to return. With Dawn Dais's trademark witty banter, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2 includes chapters such as "You Have Officially Lost Control of the Situation," "Siblings Aren't Nearly as Adorable as You Imagined," "You'll Have a Favorite," and "Having Kids Looks a Lot Easier on TV."
Category: Family & Relationships

The Sh T No One Tells You

Author : Dawn Dais
ISBN : 9781580054850
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 31.71 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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A laugh-out-loud guide to the first year of motherhood, filled with helpful advice and wisdom from real moms and dads who aren't at all afraid to tell it like it is There comes a time in every new mother's life when she finds herself staring at her screaming, smelly "bundle of joy" and wishing someone had told her that her house would reek of vomit, or that she shouldn't buy the cute onesies with a thousand impossible buttons, or that she might cry more than the baby. Best-selling author Dawn Dais, mother of two tiny terrors, is convinced that there is a reason for this lack of preparedness. She believes that a vast conspiracy exists to hide the horrific truth about parenting from doe-eyed expectant mothers who might otherwise abandon their babies in hospitals and run for it. Eschewing the adorableness that oozes out of other parenting books, Dais offers real advice from real moms-along with hilarious anecdotes, clever tips, and the genuine encouragement every mom needs in order to survive the first year of parenthood. The Sh!t No One Tells You is a must-have companion for every new mother's sleepless nights and poop-filled days.
Category: Family & Relationships

The Sh T No One Tells You About Pregnancy

Author : Dawn Dais
ISBN : 9781580056342
Genre : Health & Fitness
File Size : 72.37 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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The fourth book in Dawn Dais's popular Sh!t No One Tells You series offers "been there, freaked out about that" advice for expectant parents The fourth title in Dawn Dais's popular parenting series, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy is quite possibly the funniest, and most heartfelt, yet. After all, pregnancy is not all about scanning Pinterest for baby shower themes and registering for ironic onesies, and sometimes the less flattering aspects of gestation have a way of dimming a bit of that so-called pregnancy glow. Not to worry! Dawn is here, ready to shepherd you through the experience of one human body taking on the task of growing another human body. (Spoiler alert: It ain't always pretty.) Dawn covers it all, sharing expert lists, tips, warnings, and even a series of Parent-Training Workouts designed to increase readers' tolerance to the various indignities of parenthood, like peeing with an audience and surviving an afternoon in Chuck E. Cheese. The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy is a must-have guide for expectant moms (and their partners!) who are looking for some counsel, comedy, and camaraderie during their ultimate countdown to parenthood.
Category: Health & Fitness

The Sh T No One Tells You About Toddlers

Author : Dawn Dais
ISBN : 9781580055901
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 32.46 MB
Format : PDF
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They’re getting bigger. And you’re not getting any more sleep. Second in the Sh!t No One Tells You series, in The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers Dawn Dais tells it like it is – again – offering real advice for parents of growing children. Filled with tips, encouragement, and a strong dose of humor, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers is a survival handbook for parents on the edge. Chapters include: You Suck at This. It’s not just your imagination. Walking Is Hard. Bruising is considerably less difficult. Remember When You Judged Other Parents? Prepare to eat your words, with a side of karma’s a bitch. Restaurants Are Battle Zones. Spoiler Alert: You are not the victor. Kids Get Sick. Then everyone gets sick. This Childhood Will Be Televised. Hello, camera phones. Your TV Has Been Hijacked. By things with very high-pitched voices. Coming from one empathetic parent to another, the tips in this book are real, clever, honest, and designed to make life with a terrible two- or three-year-old a little bit more manageable. Hilarious, helpful, and handy, this book will be appreciated by any parent who has asked: “Why didn’t anybody warn me that unconditional love would be so much work?”
Category: Family & Relationships

I Heart My Little A Holes

Author : Karen Alpert
ISBN : 9780062341617
Genre : Humor
File Size : 31.87 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
Category: Humor

Shit My Dad Says

Author : Justin Halpern
ISBN : 0752227408
Genre : Adult children
File Size : 56.80 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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'At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me…' Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost one million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says… ‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we’re not watching this bullshit.’ ‘Happy Birthday, I didn’t get you a present… Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then, too – unless it’s shitty.’ ‘Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.’ ‘The worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.’ ‘Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.’
Category: Adult children

Key Issues In Creative Writing

Author : Dianne Donnelly
ISBN : 9781847698490
Genre : Language Arts & Disciplines
File Size : 30.31 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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Key Issues in Creative Writing explores a range of important issues that inform the practice and understanding of creative writing. The collection considers creative writing learning and teaching as well as creative writing research. Contributors target debates that arise because of the nature of creative writing. These experts – from the UK, USA and Australia – specifically examine creative writing as a subject in universities and colleges and discuss both the creative knowledge and the critical understanding informing the subject and its future. Finally, this volume suggests ways in which addressing current issues will produce significant disciplinary knowledge that will contribute to the success of creative writing in current and future academic environments.
Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

Everybody Has A Story 2 Tell

Author : Kailer Hayes
ISBN : 9781456722722
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 63.7 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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She worked hard to escape the hood. She's going to school to make a better life not just for herself but for her sisters, nieces, and nephew as well. She takes all the L's so her family will not lose. After all the pain she face from her mother going to jail, her sister label as a Queen Pin and the only man she loved played her. As Kyla try to become a better woman, the obstacles keep coming her way. As much as she fights to stay strong for her family. Will she survive?
Category: Fiction

The Storyteller S Sourcebook

Author : Margaret Read MacDonald
ISBN : 0810354853
Genre : Literary Criticism
File Size : 27.79 MB
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The first edition provides descriptions of folktales and references to more than 700 published sources of folktales. The new edition covers folktales from 1983-1999. Both editions include thorough indexing by subject, motif, title, ethnic group and country of origin and a comprehensive bibliography.
Category: Literary Criticism

Straitjacket Blues 2

Author : Dave Franklin
ISBN :
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 38.8 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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A charnel house, a medieval lord who plays God, and a devastated young woman who just can't let go... Dave Franklin presents his second collection of bedtime stories for the children of the damned. Contains Greetings, You Who Are Highly Favoured!, We Should Be More Like Fish, The Dead Belong With The Dead, & The Goodreads Killer (Part Two). Length: 60,000 words.
Category: Fiction