THE MAMMOTH BOOK OF NEW COMIC QUOTES

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The Mammoth Book Of New Comic Quotes

Author : Geoff Tibballs
ISBN : 9781472139467
Genre : Humor
File Size : 84.68 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
Download : 816
Read : 1070

With over 3,500 entries, arranged by topic, fully indexed and up-to-date for the twenty-first century, here is a bumper new collection of witticisms and wisecracks. If you're looking for a quick quip to get the crowd on your side, struggling to put the finishing touches to a wedding speech or just want to cheer yourself and your mates up, this marvellous mammoth book provides all you'll ever need. Entries range from insults, put-downs, gags and one-liners to homespun philosophy, witty proverbs, movie quotes and graffiti. Among the contributors featured are Ricky Gervais, Sir Terry Pratchett, Tina Fey, Milton Jones, Russell Brand, Bill Bryson, Armando Iannucci, Stephen Fry, Jeremy Clarkson, Larry David, Grayson Perry, Germaine Greer, Will Ferrell and many more. Never be stuck for a good line again! 'Al Gore met with Donald Trump to discuss climate change. To try to explain it in terms Trump would understand, Gore said, "The planet is getting hotter than your daughter Ivanka."' Conan O'Brien 'The only time it's cool to yell, "I have diarrhoea!" is when you're playing Scrabble.' Zach Galifianakis
Category: Humor

The Mammoth Book Of Comic Quotes

Author : Geoff Tibballs
ISBN : 9781780337227
Genre : Humor
File Size : 45.19 MB
Format : PDF
Download : 595
Read : 418

With over 10,000 entries, arranged by topic and fully indexed, here is a giant new collection of witticisms and wisecracks for the 21st century. If you're looking for a bon mot for an after-dinner talk, struggling to put the finishing touches to a wedding speech or just want to cheer yourself and your mates up, this fabulous fat book provides all you'll ever need. Entries range from insults, put-downs, gags and one-liners to homespun philosophy, witty proverbs, movie quotes and graffiti. Among the contributors featured are Woody Allen, Dave Barry, P. J. O'Rourke, Winston Churchill, Will Rogers, Jay Leno, P. G. Wodehouse, Bill Cosby, W. C. Fields, Oscar Wilde, Spike Milligan, Groucho Marx, George Bernard Shaw and many more. Never be stuck for a good line again! 'Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.' P. J. O'Rourke 'I'm sure sex wouldn't be as rewarding as winning the World Cup. It's not that sex isn't good, but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not.' Ronaldo
Category: Humor

The Mammoth Book Of Great British Humour

Author : Michael Powell
ISBN : 9781849016698
Genre : Humor
File Size : 24.19 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
Download : 954
Read : 160

A doorstopper of a collection of the very best of both contemporary and classic British wit and humour. From Monty Python's 'Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more . . .' to Dan Antopolski's 'Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?'. From George Bernard Shaw to Michael McIntyre, from Eric Morecombe to Omid Djalili, and from Oscar Wilde to Jimmy Carr, a side-splitting look at Britain, the British and life in general. Including these gems from Britain's finest comedians: I was delighted to learn that my friend's schadenfreude was not as satisfying as mine. Armando Iannucci. I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West. Zoe Lyons For a while I was the perfect mother. Then the Pethidine wore off. Jenny Eclair. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that. Jack Dee. Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings because it's hardly ever for them? Harry Hill. Arse-gravy of the very worst kind. Stephen Fry on The Da Vinci Code. You have to come up with this shit every year. Last week I just wrote "I still love you, see last year's card for full details." Michael McIntyre on Valentines Day. I went to the doctor and he said, 'You've got hypochondria.' I said, 'Not that as well!'Tim Vine. I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. Spike Milligan. When someone close to you dies, move seats. Peter Kay. My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. Eric Morecambe. My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. Jimmy Carr. Eighty-two point six per cent of statistics are made up on the spot. Vic Reeves. A bird in the hand invariably shits on your wrist. Billy Connolly. Getting divorced isn't like a bereavement at all, because if he's died, I'd have had me mortgage paid, and I could've danced on his grave. Sarah Millican. My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela: incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990, he's been out about 18 years now and he hasn't re-offended. Ricky Gervais. If you want to confuse a girl, buy her a pair of chocolate shoes. Milton Jones. Phil Collins is losing his hearing, making him the luckiest man at a Phil Collins Concert. Simon Amstell. We'll continue our investigation into the political beliefs of nudists. We've already noticed a definite swing to the left. Ronnie Barker. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts. Tommy Cooper
Category: Humor

Two Nuns In A Bath

Author : Geoff Tibballs
ISBN : 9781849012584
Genre : Humor
File Size : 20.15 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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A brand-new, fantastic, enormous collection of 5,000 jokes, gags and one-liners - indexed and categorised to help with finding the right joke for any occasion or audience, from Bar-Mitzvahs to bar-rooms. Two Nuns in a Bath is the consummate collection, with jokes on every subject under the sun, from lawyers to low-energy light bulbs. Two nuns are sitting in a bath. One says "Where's the soap?"" The other replies "It does rather doesn't it?" A guy asks a lawyer what his fee is. "I charge $50 for three questions," the lawyer says. "That's awfully steep, isn't it?" the guy asks. "Yes," the lawyer replies, "Now what's your final question?"
Category: Humor

The Mammoth Book Of Best New Manga

Author : Ilya
ISBN : UOM:39015069368218
Genre : Comics & Graphic Novels
File Size : 27.44 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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A full-length anthology of manga tales by some of the genre's most promising young writers features fifteen unabridged new stories and includes contributions by such names as Andi Watson, Craig Conlan, and Michiru Morikawa. Original.
Category: Comics & Graphic Novels

The Mammoth Book Of The Beatles

Author : Sean Egan
ISBN : STANFORD:36105124204384
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 87.92 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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Read : 947

Over 30 landmark interviews, accounts, and memoirs of The Beatles and their entourage, recording how they inadvertently became counter-culture_s figureheads and changed society.The pieces include Paul Johnson_s _The Menace of Beatlism_, Maureen Cleave_s _Beatles Bigger than Christ_ feature, the News of the World feature suggesting The Beatles were spent forces _ just before they unleashed Sergeant Pepper on the world _ interviews with their entourage and main loves; plus latter-day contributions from the likes of Paul Gambacinni, Dave Marsh, Greil Marcus.Also included is a chronological tracing of each Beatles album and single, and analysis of all Beatles movie releases and television appearances.
Category: Biography & Autobiography

The Mammoth Book Of Irish Romance

Author : Trisha Telep
ISBN : 9781849014229
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 37.49 MB
Format : PDF
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What happens when an Irish god finds himself smitten by a beautiful mortal woman? When the Celtic gods dream of romance trouble abounds! Visit an Irish king tempted by the poetry of a sensuous wraith who blends the mythological and the historical so seamlessly he finds himself transported to a myth-laden Ireland of beasts and warriors-and entirely at her mercy. A forbidden love cursed by the saints causes two young lovers to magically shape-shift to freedom in an underground fairy Otherworld with disastrous results. A Celtic hero sets out on a treacherous sea journey to claim a dream woman. The rekindled ashes of an ancient desire between a fierce clansman and his lady find new light with a pair of young, secret lovers. The volume contains stories by: Jenna Maclaine, Jennifer Ashley, Roberta Gellis, Claire Delacroix, Sue-Ellen Welfonder, Cindy Miles, Ciar Cullen, Helen Scott Taylor, Shirley Kennedy, Margo Maguire, Susan Krinard, Pat McDermott, Nadia Williams, Dara England, Kathleen Givens, Sandra Newgent, Cindy Holby, Cat Adams, Penelope Neri, Patricia Rice.
Category: Fiction

The Mammoth Book Of Extreme Science Fiction

Author : Mike Ashley
ISBN : 9781849015356
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 70.71 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Here are 25 stories of science fiction that push the envelope, by the biggest names in an emerging new crop of high-tech futuristic SF - including Charles Stross, Robert Reed, Alastair Reynolds, Peter Hamilton and Neal Asher. High-tech SF has made a significant comeback in the last decade, as bestselling authors successfully blend the super-science of 'hard science fiction' with real characters in an understandable scenario. It is perhaps a reflection of how technologically controlled our world is that readers increasingly look for science fiction that considers the fates of mankind as a result of increasing scientific domination. This anthology brings together the most extreme examples of the new high-tech, far-future science fiction, pushing the limits way beyond normal boundaries. The stories include: "A Perpetual War Fought Within a Cosmic String", "A Weapon That Could Destroy the Universe", "A Machine That Detects Alternate Worlds and Creates a Choice of Christs", "An Immortal Dead Man Sent To The End of the Universe", "Murder in Virtual Reality", "A Spaceship So Large That There is An Entire Planetary System Within It", and "An Analytical Engine At The End of Time", and "Encountering the Untouchable."
Category: Fiction

The Mammoth Book Of Best New Jokes

Author : Geoff Tibballs
ISBN : 0762437294
Genre : Humor
File Size : 45.7 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
Download : 980
Read : 560

Presents a collection of thousands of jokes on almost one hundred topics ranging from airplanes and books to Donald Trump and work.
Category: Humor

The Mammoth Book Of Best War Comics

Author : David Kendall
ISBN : 1845295862
Genre : Graphic novels
File Size : 84.47 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
Download : 445
Read : 1010

Mixing classic strips from the likes of Sam Glanzman, Alex Toth and Joe Kubert, with graphic shorts by Ted Rall and Joe Sacco, as well as several unpublished pieces on most recent conflicts by lesser known names, the contributors collectively represent the finest graphic artists to have covered the subject of war in the 20th century. The works are drawn from a widest possible variety of sources, including classic comic magazines like the bimonthly Blazing Combat published by Warren in the 1970s, and DC Thomson's ongoing Commando, individual collections such as Sam Glanzman's Marvel-published work, and smaller press publications whose hidden gems can now be brought to the light of day. Contributors include: Alex Toth, Sam Glanzman, Garth Ennis, Joe Kubert, Joe Sacco, Art Spiegelman, Peter Severin, Darko Macan and Ted Rall.
Category: Graphic novels