Raising Cain Protecting The Emotional Life Of Boys

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Raising Cain

Author : Dan Kindlon, Ph.D.
ISBN : 0307569225
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 20.83 MB
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The stunning success of Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher's landmark book, showed a true and pressing need to address the emotional lives of girls. Now, finally, here is the book that answers our equally timely and critical need to understand our boys. In Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., and Michael Thompson, Ph.D., two of the country's leading child psychologists, share what they have learned in more than thirty-five years of combined experience working with boys and their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting--sad, afraid, angry, and silent. Statistics point to an alarming number of young boys at high risk for suicide, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and loneliness. Kindlon and Thompson set out to answer this basic, crucial question: What do boys need that they're not getting? They illuminate the forces that threaten our boys, teaching them to believe that "cool" equals macho strength and stoicism. Cutting through outdated theories of "mother blame," "boy biology," and "testosterone," Kindlon and Thompson shed light on the destructive emotional training our boys receive--the emotional miseducation of boys. Through moving case studies and cutting-edge research, Raising Cain paints a portrait of boys systematically steered away from their emotional lives by adults and the peer "culture of cruelty"--boys who receive little encouragement to develop qualities such as compassion, sensitivity, and warmth. The good news is that this doesn't have to happen. There is much we can do to prevent it. Kindlon and Thompson make a compelling case that emotional literacy is the most valuable gift we can offer our sons, urging parents to recognize the price boys pay when we hold them to an impossible standard of manhood. They identify the social and emotional challenges that boys encounter in school and show how parents can help boys cultivate emotional awareness and empathy--giving them the vital connections and support they need to navigate the social pressures of youth. Powerfully written and deeply felt, Raising Cain will forever change the way we see our sons and will transform the way we help them to become happy and fulfilled young men. From the Hardcover edition.
Category: Family & Relationships

It S A Boy

Author : Michael Thompson, PhD
ISBN : 0345512804
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 36.65 MB
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From the New York Times bestselling co-author of Raising Cain, It’s a Boy! is the first major parenting book to chart every stage of a boy’s life. This upbeat, authoritative, and reassuring guide–written by psychologist Michael Thompson, Ph.D., a leading international expert on boys’ development, and journalist Teresa H. Barker–shows how a boy’s inner life progresses through infancy, childhood, and adolescence. What do boys actually need? How exactly does a healthy boy look and act? It’s a Boy! has the answers, providing expert advice on the developmental, psychological, social, and academic life of boys from infancy through the teen years. Exploring the many ways in which boys strive for masculinity and attempt to define themselves, Dr. Thompson identifies the key developmental transitions that mark a boy’s psychological growth and emotional health, and the challenges both boys and parents face at each age. • Expecting a Boy: how our deeply held hopes, fears, and family histories shape our expectations of boys and our parenting techniques • Baby Boys (birth to 18 months): falling in love with your son, healthy attachment, trust, and temperament • Toddler Years (18 months to 3 years): boys on the go, bold steps, blankies, budding language, and rambunctious physicality • Powerful Little Boys (ages 3 and 4): superhero ambitions, penis play and potty talk, learning to manage the force of his anger, and celebrating the power of the boy group • Starting School (ages 5 through 7): developmental cues for school readiness, transitional challenges, girl cooties and boys-only play, tough talk, tender hearts, and first friends • Boys on a Mission (ages 8 through 10): striving for mastery in sports, screen games, and boy society, organizing the boy brain for school success, and glaring academic gender gaps • The Preteen (ages 11 through 13): puberty, posturing and popularity, the culture of cruelty, hidden sensitivity, and stoic silence in the middle school years • Early High School (ages 14 and 15): the secret life of boys, powerful peer groups, sexuality, school strategies, the shift away from Mom (she knows too much), and yearning for Dad’s respect and attention • On the Brink of Manhood (ages 16 through 18): the quest for independence, sex, love, driving, drinking, and other choices and challenges of life Practical, insightful, wonderfully engaging, and filled with instructive true stories any parent of a son will recognize, It’s a Boy! is the definitive guide to raising boys in today’s world, revealing with humor, compassion, and joy all the infinite varieties of boys and the deep and profound ways in which we love them. From the Hardcover edition.
Category: Family & Relationships

The Pressured Child

Author : Michael Thompson, Ph.D.
ISBN : 9780307489791
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 51.23 MB
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The push for students to excel at school and get into the best colleges has never been more intense. In this invaluable new book, the bestselling co-author of Raising Cain addresses America’s performance-driven obsession with the accomplishments of its kids–and provides a deeply humane response. “How was school?” These three words contain a world of desire on the part of parents to know what their children are learning and experiencing in school each day. Children may not divulge much, but psychologist Michael Thompson suggests that the answers are there if we know how to read the clues and–equally important–if we remember our own school days. School, Thompson reminds us, occupies more waking hours than kids spend at home; and school is full not just of studies but of human emotion–excitement, fear, envy, love, anger, sexuality, boredom, competitiveness. Through richly detailed interviews, case histories, and student e-mail journals, including those of his own children, Thompson illuminates the deeper psychological journey that school demands, a journey that all children must take in order to grow and develop, whether they are academic aces or borderline dropouts. Most of us remember this journey, if we are honest with ourselves, but our children must experience it in their own way, for better or worse. In stories that are by turns poignant, shocking, uplifting, and inspiring, we see students grapple with the textured reality of their lives, devising their own unique strategies to survive and thrive in school. For parents, this book reveals the hidden emotional landscape of the school day and points toward the answers we both desire and dread as we seek to help our children find success in school and beyond. Bridging the worlds of the growing and the grown-up, and told in Thompson’s compassionate voice as both psychologist and father, The Pressured Child shows us how to listen for the truth of our children’s experience–and how to trust, love, and ultimately let go of a child. It is a crucial book for our stressful age–and an ideal resource for families struggling to survive it. From the Hardcover edition.
Category: Family & Relationships

Labor Without Class

Author : Michael Thompson
ISBN : 1864030739
Genre : Political Science
File Size : 56.52 MB
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Category: Political Science

Life Is Tough

Author : Rachelle Lasky Bilz
ISBN : 0810850559
Genre : Literary Criticism
File Size : 66.95 MB
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This book provides librarians, educators, and parents with the information they need to recognize the different kinds of young adult fiction available for boys. These books can then be suggested to young men as aids in navigating adolescence, pleasure (or free reading assignment) reading, and tools to improve literacy. The annotated bibliographies are helpful to young adults looking for a good read.
Category: Literary Criticism

The Complete Idiot S Guide To Raising Boys

Author : Laurie A. Helgoe
ISBN : 159257730X
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 44.17 MB
Format : PDF
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Teaches parents of young boys what they need to know from birth to college, including advice and information on school, discipline, puberty, bullies, girls, and other essential topics.
Category: Family & Relationships

Alpha Girls

Author : Dan Kindlon
ISBN : 9781594869235
Genre : Social Science
File Size : 50.14 MB
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" A must-have for anyone looking to understand the upcoming generation's driven, confident, and successful females."—Publishers Weekly There's a new type of teenage girl growing up in America today and she is going to have a profound and beneficial influence on society. That's the conclusion of Dr. Dan Kindlon, widely respected child and adolescent psychologist. In Alpha Girls, the best-selling coauthor of Raising Cain, which is hailed for its insights into the psyche of boys, breaks new ground with his startling picture of today's American girl—independent, self-confident, highly motivated . . . and fundamentally different from previous generations. Part of the first generation that is reaping the full benefits of the women's movement, today's American girl is maturing with a new sense of possibility and psychological emancipation. Backing his findings with painstaking research, including questionnaires, profiles, and detailed case studies, Dr. Kindlon offers an in-depth portrait of the alpha girl, a born leader who is ready to explode into adulthood and make her mark on the world and, by her example, serve as an inspiration for women everywhere. "A very insightful and groundbreaking work, blowing modern conceptions of girls out of the water."—Bellaonline.com
Category: Social Science

The Mother And The Manager

Author : Elizabeth Ralston
ISBN : 9781452595269
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 63.87 MB
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In The Mother And The Manager Elizabeth Ralston courageously explores how our traditional gender roles create codependent behaviors in men and women and offers positive, workable solutions toward dealing with this problem. The Mother And The Manager takes an in-depth look at how our society has evolved and impacted gender roles into the twenty-first century. As 12-Step recovery groups have flourished in recent years, women have been educated about why they have issues such as low self-esteem, perfectionism, rigidity, relationship failures, inability to get their needs met and fear of conflict. Elizabeth has bravely shared about how patriarchy has impacted her life and how recovery has helped her to empower and heal herself. She will help many who are searching for answers to their questions and will help them on the road to recovery. I salute her ability to face her fears about “rocking the boat” in writing this book and taking the risk to speak her truth and stay on her God-inspired path.” Ginger S. Edwards, Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Addictions Specialist Specializing in Codependency and Trauma
Category: Self-Help

Pixar S Boy Stories

Author : Shannon R. Wooden
ISBN : 9781442233591
Genre : Performing Arts
File Size : 66.84 MB
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Since Toy Story, its first feature in 1995, Pixar Animation Studios has produced a string of commercial and critical successes including Monsters, Inc.; WALL-E; Finding Nemo; The Incredibles; Cars; and Up. In nearly all of these films, male characters are prominently featured, usually as protagonists. Despite obvious surface differences, these figures often follow similar narratives toward domestic fulfillment and civic engagement. However, these characters are also hypermasculine types whose paths lead to postmodern social roles more revelatory of the current “crisis” that sociologists and others have noted in boy culture. In Pixar’s Boy Stories: Masculinity in a Postmodern Age, Shannon R. Wooden and Ken Gillam examine how boys become men and how men measure up in films produced by the animation giant. Offering counterintuitive readings of boy culture, this book describes how the films quietly but forcefully reiterate traditional masculine norms in terms of what they praise and what they condemn. Whether toys or ants, monsters or cars, Pixar’s males succeed or fail according to the “boy code,” the relentlessly policed gender standards rampant in American boyhood. Structured thematically around major issues in contemporary boy culture, the book discusses conformity, hypermasculinity, social hierarchies, disability, bullying, and an implicit critique of postmodern parenting. Unprecedented in its focus on Pixar and boys in its films, this book offers a valuable perspective to current conversations about gender and cinema. Providing a critical discourse about masculine roles in animated features, Pixar’s Boy Stories will be of interest to scholars of film, media, and gender studies and to parents.
Category: Performing Arts

The Mama S Boy Myth

Author : Kate Stone Lombardi
ISBN : 9781101561096
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 63.86 MB
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A New York Times contributor offers a radical reexamination of a hot-button issue of the mother and son relationship and advocates the end of the "mama's boy" taboo. New York Times contributor Kate Stone Lombardi unveils the surprisingly close relationship between mothers and sons. Mother after mother confessed to Lombardi that her husband, brothers, and even female friends and family criticize the fact that she is "too close" to her sons. Many of these women are often startled by the strong connection they feel with their sons; but rarely do they talk about it because society tells them to push their little boys away and not "baby" them with too much cuddling and comforting. It is as if there were an existing playbook-based on gender preconceptions dating back to Freud, Oedipus, and beyond-that prescribes the way mothers and their sons should interact. Lombardi's much-needed narrative is the first and only book to share truly revealing interviews with mothers who have close relationships with their sons, as well as interviews with these women's sons and husbands. Lombardi persuasively argues that the rise of the new male-one who is more emotionally intelligent and more sensitive without being less "manly"-is directly attributable to women who are rejecting the "mama's boy" taboo. Highlighting new scientific studies, The Mama's Boy Myth begins a fresh story-one that will be welcomed by mothers, fathers, and sons alike.
Category: Family & Relationships

Speaking Of Boys

Author : Michael Thompson, PhD
ISBN : 9780307491206
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 61.95 MB
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My eight-year-old son is the only boy in his class who doesn't have a Gameboy. I don't want him to be ostracized for not having one, but I worry that it's addictive. What do you think? Our two sons are eleven and fourteen, and they are fiercely competitive. The tension around our house is awful. How can we help them get along better? We've worked very hard to keep our ten-year-old son in touch with his feelings. Sometimes it seems as if we've put him at a disadvantage, surrounded by tougher boys who can be pretty cruel with teasing. How can we help him protect himself when other boys start to tease? With his bestselling book Raising Cain, Michael Thompson, Ph.D., at last broke the silence surrounding the emotional life of boys and spearheaded an important national debate. His warmth and humor quickly made him a popular and respected international speaker and consultant. Now he directs his authority, insight, and eloquence to answering your questions about raising a son. With candid questions and thoughtful, detailed responses, Speaking of Boys covers hot-button topics such as peer pressure, ADHD/ADD, and body image as well as traditional issues such as friendship, divorce, and college and career development. This perceptive, informative, and passionate book will leave you not only with useful, practical advice but also with the comforting knowledge that other parents share the same concerns you do when it comes to raising our boys into well-adjusted, responsible men.
Category: Family & Relationships

Modern Misogyny

Author : Kristin J. Anderson
ISBN : 9780199328178
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 78.26 MB
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Pundits and politicians often opine on the irrelevance of feminism and the women's movement today. Some commentators describe the state of feminism as "post-feminist," alongside equally questionable claims of Barack Obama's election as signaling a "post-racial" America. Modern Misogyny examines contemporary anti-feminism in a "post-feminist" era. It considers the widespread notion that the feminist movement has ended, in large part because the work of feminism has been completed. In fact, the argument goes, women have been so successful in achieving equality, it is now men who currently are at risk of becoming irrelevant and unnecessary. These sentiments make up modern anti-feminism. Modern Misogyny argues that equality has not been fully achieved and that anti-feminism is now packaged in a more palatable, but stealthy form. This book addresses the nature, function, and implications of modern anti-feminism in the United States. Modern Misogyny explores the landscape of popular culture and politics, emphasizing relatively recent moves away from feminist activism to individualism and consumerism where "self-empowerment" represents women's progress. It also explores the retreat to traditional gender roles after September 11, 2001. It interrogates the assumption that feminism is unnecessary, that women have achieved equality, and therefore those women who do insist on being feminists want to get ahead of men. Finally, it takes a fresh look at the positive role that feminism plays in today's "post-feminist" era, and how feminism does and might function in women's lives. Post-feminist discourse encourages young women to believe that they were born into a free society, so if they experience discrimination, it is an individual, isolated problem that may even be their own fault. Modern Misogyny examines that rendering of feminism as irrelevant and as the silencing and marginalizing of feminists. Anderson calls for a revived feminism that is vigilant in combatting modern forms of sexism.
Category: Psychology

Counseling Troubled Boys

Author : Mark S. Kiselica
ISBN : 9781135916114
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 49.76 MB
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This volume provides practitioners with clear, helpful information about the process of understanding and engaging a wide array of boys and adolescent males in counseling. It supplies case examples and covers topics including race, ethnicity, religion, and other cultural factors of boys. A practical tool for school and mental health practitioners who need to understand and respond to the developmental and special issues of boys and adolescent males, Counseling Troubled Boys creates a bridge between young men and helping professionals. Key content includes adjustment issues, strategies for establishing rapport, interventions, case studies, and suggestions for future training and research.
Category: Family & Relationships

Searching For Tom Sawyer

Author : Tim Wright
ISBN : 9781449786168
Genre : Religion
File Size : 32.27 MB
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The Story of Boys—Lost in the Twenty-first Century: 70% of all Ds and Fs go to boys 85% of stimulant-addressing medications prescribed in the world are prescribed to US boys Boys are falling behind girls in virtually every area of life 70 -90% of boys will leave the church in their teens and early twenties Searching for Tom Sawyer offers parents and church leaders a compelling vision and practical principles for how, together, they can change that storyline by forging boys into heroic men. “More than 70% of the young men who are raised in church abandon it during their teens and twenties ... Tim Wright examines the problem and offers real solutions to one of the greatest challenges facing the church today.” —David Murrow, author of Why Men Hate Going to Church “No one who cares for boys, and equally no one who cares for kids and families should miss Searching for Tom Sawyer.” —Leonard Sweet, professor at Drew University and George Fox University “Tim Wright’s diagnosis of why most of our congregations struggle to connect with guys is eye-opening and stunning ... As the father of three boys, I wish I’d had this book years ago. As the pastor of a congregation, I’m glad I have it now.” —Pastor Jeff Marian, Prince of Peace Lutheran Church, Burnsville, Minnesota
Category: Religion

The Will To Change

Author : bell hooks
ISBN : 0743480333
Genre : Social Science
File Size : 39.60 MB
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With the courage, honesty, and compassion that have made her one of America's most provocative authorities on modern culture, bell hooks takes on the interior lives of men and answers their most intimate questions about love. Everyone needs to love and be loved -- even men. In this groundbreaking book, bell hooks gets to the heart of the matter and shows men how to express the emotions that are a fundamental part of who they are -- whatever their age, ethnicity, or cultural persuasion. Written in response to the author's in-depth discussions with men who were inspired by her trilogy, All About Love, Salvation, and Communion, bell hooks's The Will to Change addresses maleness and masculinity in new and challenging ways. With trademark candor and fierce intelligence, hooks answers the most common concerns of men, such as fear of intimacy and loss of their patriarchal place in society. She believes men can find the way to spiritual unity by getting back in touch with the emotionally open part of themselves. Only through this liberation will they lay claim to the rich and rewarding inner lives that have historically been the exclusive province of women. Men can access these feelings by giving themselves permission to be vulnerable. As they grow more comfortable and start believing that it's okay to feel, to need, and to desire, they will thrive as equal partners in their intimate relationships. Whether they are straight or gay, black or white, The Will to Change helps men to reclaim the best part of themselves.
Category: Social Science

Even Hockey Players Read

Author : David Booth
ISBN : 9781551381473
Genre : Education
File Size : 73.11 MB
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Looks at how literacy affects the development of boys as readers and includes strategies to help boys select reading material and develop their literary potential.
Category: Education

The Good Father

Author : Mark O'Connell
ISBN : 9781439104187
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 41.11 MB
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Fathering is one of the most basic and profound human activities. Yet in addition to its many joys, fatherhood is often freighted with longing, sadness, anger, and misunderstanding. Most of us, men and women alike, are acutely aware of how difficult it is to father well, year after year, until, and even after, children are grown. At the same time, the essential relationships between men and women and their children are under stress these days as never before, subject to the pressures of work, money, divorce, remarriage, and adoption. As a result, many fathers struggle with deep uncertainties about their parenting abilities. Meanwhile, society's definitions of masculinity appear ever more fluid, negotiable, and unreachable in today's media-saturated culture, which endlessly exposes men (and women) to a stream of images celebrating violence, war, hypermasculinity, athletic ability, corporate competition, alternative life-styles, "metrosexuality," and triumphant materialism. Who, men might rightfully ask, are we expected to be? Do various pop-cultural definitions of masculinity really reflect what it is to be a man? What in men's true natures helps them be good fathers? Can aggression be useful? What masculine traits do fathers need to guard -- and guard against? How do men love their children, and how is being a father very different from and no less essential than being a mother? And how can women understand how men experience fatherhood? This is the rich social reality that Dr. Mark O'Connell, a psychotherapist and father of three, addresses in his provocative, brilliant, and wise book. Drawing on both his professional case histories and personal experience, O'Connell describes the internal conflicts that many men feel about the difficulties of being a father but which they are often unable to discuss easily. Such issues include questions about authority, discipline, intimacy, physical contact, and sexuality. In ways that are distinctly masculine, O'Connell says, fathers communicate standards, insist on respect for others, instigate necessary confrontations, and even engage in the kind of rough-and-tumble play that enlivens the developing neural structures in a child's brain. O'Connell contends that fathers play a crucial role in conveying the rules, expectations, and inevitabilities of life, and he describes how men can help their families by understanding and embracing their own masculinity. Men are different from women and must be allowed to parent differently as well. The Good Father, however, is not just a very readable book for fathers struggling to find their best selves in relation to their spouses and children. Women will want to read The Good Father as well. All men and women have complex and important relationships with their fathers, whether or not those men were good fathers. Dr. O'Connell reveals how men and women alike bring these relationships to their parenting, and how we so often need to untangle these generational knots. Filled with reassuring common sense, The Good Father opens a path toward happier, more satisfying relationships for the entire family while helping men become the good fathers they deeply want to be.
Category: Family & Relationships

Counseling Boys And Young Men

Author : Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, LMHC-IN, LPC-NC, NCC
ISBN : 9780826109194
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 38.42 MB
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"Counseling Boys and Young Men provides a plethora of information and counseling techniques essential to the continued development of young men....The text serves as a noteworthy manual addressing the myriad of issues affecting young males in todayís society."--The Professional Counselor Journal This comprehensive guide to the unique challenges faced by boys and young men encompasses todayís most critical issues and presents effective, evidence-based strategies for treating them. Recognizing the specific needs of diverse young males, this text covers such contemporary issues as bullying and harassment, anger management, online gaming, addiction, pornography, and gang membership. The differences between the developmental issues of males and females are addressed, along with the emotional, intellectual, and physical changes boys experience as they move into adolescence. The difficulties counselors face in their efforts to access emotional expression in boys are discussed along with strategies to overcome these barriers. Each chapter includes a comprehensive case scenario that highlights the presenting issue, how the issue affects functioning, and how effective treatment is best implemented. Additional resources for more in-depth study are also included throughout the book. Key Features: Provides guidance to the unique psychological issues of boys and young men along with innovative, evidence-based treatment strategies Addresses such current topics as bullying/harassment, risk-taking behaviors, pornography addiction, gambling, single-parent families, and more Includes vivid case studies Explores such social issues as gang membership with a focus on helping young males revise their self-image and social networks
Category: Psychology

Teenage Guys

Author : Steven Gerali
ISBN : 9780310669845
Genre : Religion
File Size : 42.8 MB
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Youth workers need to fully understand the inner workings and development of adolescents in order to really meet their needs. In Teenage Guys, Dr. Steve Gerali presents the stages of development that adolescent guys go through, providing stories from his own experiences in ministry and counseling as well as practical research findings to equip youth workers (both male and female) to more effectively minister to teenage guys.With advice from counselors and veteran youth workers, you’ll find helpful suggestions on how to minister to teenage guys and their families. Each chapter includes discussion questions to help you and other youth workers process the issues your own students face and learn how you can help them and mentor them through this tumultuous time. In addition to concepts like mentoring and rites of passage, Dr. Gerali also walks readers through the seven areas of development young guys go through.You’ll understand more about:• Cognitive development• Identity formation• Social development• Emotional development• Physiological development• Sexological maturation• Faith formation
Category: Religion

Writing The Playbook

Author : Kelley King
ISBN : 9781452242989
Genre : Education
File Size : 66.96 MB
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Jump-start boys' achievement with a step-by-step leadership plan that draws on brain research to provide a blueprint for creating schools where boys (and girls!) thrive.
Category: Education