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Parentally Incorrect

Author : Shayna Ferm
ISBN : 9780757320484
Genre : Humor
File Size : 21.14 MB
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For over four years, Ferm and Tee have been performing to sold-out audiences across the country. The Pump and Dump Show is a fun and rowdy evening of comedy, singing, games, prizes, drinking, cursing and commiseration, with a clear and universal theme: Parenting is screwed up and hilarious, and we're all just doing the best we can. Motherhood is wonderful for many reasons, but moments of clarity are so often outweighed by public outbursts, poison control phone calls and poop (everywhere!) it's difficult to stop and realize that it's not always a direct reflection of our parenting skills. This gift book is a collection of segments from Ferm and Tee's popular show, including: The Most F**ked Up Thing Your Kid Has Done Recently cards. One of the most popular segments of the show, members of the audience write down crazy and memorable things their kids have done. It is hysterical, cathartic, and never disappoints. Sad Cake moments. Ever eaten cake that was just kind of sad? It's a situation, happenstance, or object that is a bit of a bummer, like getting in a fight on date night or getting puked on when there is no wine in the house. #SadCake Stump the Breeder trivia questions. So you think making a person makes you an expert on making a person? Test your knowledge by answering "extremely difficult" questions so you feel like you know what you're doing. Awesome MOMents. Games for moms to play when and if they ever get a night with friends, like: The Parentally Incorrect Drinking Game--If you've done it, you drink. If you haven't done it, you drink. Lies We Tell Ourselves Before We Have Kids. I'll still hang out after the kids go to bed. Yes you will. But not with your friends. With a glass of wine to help you forget the smell of spit up.
Category: Humor

The Perfect Parents Handbook

Author : Jennifer Conlin
ISBN : 9781466853126
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 61.47 MB
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With a classification system that has every parenting style down to a 't', The Perfect Parents Handbook is unputdownable reading for anyone who's ever forked over major three figures for the "must have" stroller or agonized over what their children's school says about them as parents. The real facts and details in this book gently skewer modern mothers and fathers and will at the same time delight them with dead-on accuracy in describing the habits and accouterments of nine types, including: --The Neo-Trads: Dad makes the cupcakes and kids' artwork is everywhere (not just on the fridge); the family's taste always exceeds its wallet --The Martyr Parents: They've sacrificed so much for the kids that the kids have taken over the asylum --The Power Parents: The IV sessions that led to triplets were coordinated on mom and dad's Blackberries and the real British nanny swabs the babies' Burberry button-downs on the way to their five bedroom Park Avenue apartment --The Classic Parents: Everybody's in LL Bean and their 2.3 children all climb into a little red wagon to get to the SUV Laced with titillating facts about our child-centric culture (unique baby announcements! nursery decorators! mandatory volunteering at preschool!), The Perfect Parents Handbook decodes the complex and terrifying (smothering doulas! educational vacations to the rainforest!) world of raising kids.,
Category: Family & Relationships

The Art Of Conscious Parenting

Author : Jeffrey L. Fine
ISBN : 9781594779763
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 34.79 MB
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A new approach to creating, rediscovering, and renewing the intimate bonds between parents and children • Explains the importance of bonding with your child in utero and the physical and mental preparation needed even before conception • Shows how “green parenting”--breast-feeding, contact with nature, and low-tech creativity--can enhance your child’s life • The Art of Conscious Parenting won the 2010 Gold Nautilus Award for the best Parenting/Childcare book. The Nautilus Awards recognize books that promote spiritual growth, conscious living and positive social change, while at the same time stimulating the “imagination” and offer the reader “new possibilities” for a better life and a better world. Our first days and months of life are critical in forming the attitudes we bring into adulthood and in structuring the very roots of our personality. Simple bonding techniques--long forgotten in our modern world but stemming from the age-old customs of indigenous peoples--are at the core of a new model of conscious parenting that can produce happy and well-adjusted children. These practices also help parents experience an increased joy and intimacy both with their child and with each other. Based on obstetric and psychological evidence, Jeffrey and Dalit Fine reveal how bonding begins in utero and that the physical and mental preparation of both the father and mother, even before conception, sets the tone for the future well-being of the child. They show how sustained physical contact and simple ways of consciously interacting with your infant--eye contact with the newborn, baby-wearing instead of stroller use, and co-sleeping--have an observable positive effect. They also show that the “green parenting” practices of breast-feeding, contact with nature, and simple low-tech creative play not only provide a more hands-on and intimate approach to parenting but also are more economical and environmentally sustainable. From in-utero bonding through the challenges and joys of consciously interacting with your growing child, this book will help parents rediscover and apply the natural art of conscious parenting.
Category: Family & Relationships

Travel Leisure

Author :
ISBN : PSU:000052777103
Genre : Travel
File Size : 79.69 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Category: Travel

Motherhood Confidential

Author :
ISBN : 0976093006
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 70.94 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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On the run from Big Mother best friends discover there's no more going by the book. This time it's personal.
Category: Biography & Autobiography

Universal Orlando 2005 Edition

Author : Kelly Monaghan
ISBN : 1887140530
Genre : Travel
File Size : 55.34 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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All the latest on Universal Orlando's dynamic theme-park. Monaghan offers first hand, in-depth coverage of every attraction, hotel, restaurant, and shop. Insider tips and reviews spiced with wit and humor.
Category: Travel

Universal Orlando 2003

Author : Kelly Monaghan
ISBN : 1887140425
Genre : Travel
File Size : 24.54 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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The very latest on all the new thrill rides, kiddie rides, dining, entertainment and shopping in Universal's multi-park/resort hotel complex.
Category: Travel

Bats In The Belfry By Design

Author : Titus Stauffer
ISBN : 0964483505
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 28.50 MB
Format : PDF
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Soon, we'll spend billions of dollars on genetic engineering. What will we do first: A) build an amusement park, or, B) build weapons of mass destruction? Precedent: Manhattan Project. What gets our money's worth? Did we spend billions on the atom to make an AMUSEMENT PARK? No, we wanted some BANG FOR THE BUCK. Human nature hasn't changed; we still want BANG FOR THE BUCK. Speaking of the Atomic Age...fifty years later, we learn that the government injected plutonium into unknowing, innocent Americans. What will they do secretly, next? This book provides some possible answers. Watch, as creativity becomes monstrosity. Watch, as the desire to save American soldiers turns into genocide. See the dark side of human nature, & how one man finally rebels against the beast within. BATS IN THE BELFRY, BY DESIGN isn't for those who say, "My Country, Right or Wrong" & don't want their thinking challenged. It is for those who care about ideas, freedom & a future for the human race - as well as a few good chuckles & some chills & thrills. To order: Free Voice Publishing, P.O. Box 692168, Houston, TX 77269-2168. Phone: 713-251-5226.
Category: Fiction