IN THE MERDE FOR LOVE

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In The Merde For Love

Author : Stephen Clarke
ISBN : 159691744X
Genre : Travel
File Size : 71.43 MB
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The latest episode in Stephen Clarke's almost-true account of his adventures as an expat in France is just as winning as the first. This "anti-Mayle" will have readers chortling over their croissants and café au lait while Paul West struggles to solve the mysteries inherent in life in France. What is the best way to scare a gendarme? Is it really polite to sleep with your boss's mistress? And why are there no public health warnings on French nude beaches? Paul discovers how to judge a French vacationer by the rustiness of his bicycle; opens his English tearoom; and finally understands why Parisian waiters are so cranky. Just in time for spring in Paris, find out if Paul finds the perfect French mademoiselle or if it all ends in merde!
Category: Travel

Talk To The Snail

Author : Stephen Clarke
ISBN : 9781407038728
Genre : Travel
File Size : 48.6 MB
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Have you been taken to what you've been assured is the perfect house deep in the French countryside, only to find there's no electricity or running water? Gone to the doctor with a nasty cough, and been diagnosed with a rather more personal complaint? Walked into an half-empty restaurant, only to be told that it's complet? If the answer to any of the above is oui, Talk to the Snail is the book for you.Find out how to get served in a restaurant; the best way to deal with French hypochondria; learn the language of love, sex and suppositories (not necessarily in that order); it's all here in this funny, informative, seriously useful guide on how to get what you really want from the French. With advice on essential phrases and bons mots to cover all eventualities, and illustrated with witty real-life anecdotes, Talk to the Snail is a book that no self-respecting Francophile - or Francophobe - can afford to be without. Don't go to France without reading this book. And don't even think of buying a house there.
Category: Travel

Merde Happens

Author : Stephen Clarke
ISBN : 9781742748283
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 88.44 MB
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Q: What happens when an Englishman, an American, and a French woman drive across America in a Mini? A: Merde Happens ... Paul West is in deep financial merde. His only way out of debt is to accept a decidedly dodgy job that involves him touring America in a Mini, while pretending to be typically British. Also in the car is Paul's French girlfriend, Alexa, and his American poet friend, Jake, whose main aim in life is to sleep with a woman from every country in the world. Preferably in the back of Paul's Mini. But as the little car battles from New York to Miami, and then heads west, leg-room turns out to be the least of Paul's troubles. His work is being sabotaged, his tour plans are in tatters, and his love life becomes a Franco-American war zone. And as Paul knows better than anyone, when you mix love and war - merde happens ...
Category: Fiction

For A Night Of Love

Author : Émile Zola
ISBN : 9781780940892
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 63.46 MB
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In his three short stories, 'For a Night of Love', 'Nantas', and 'Fasting', Emile Zola presents characters in search of fulfilment ? romantic, religious, and financial. Read together, For a Night of Love is an extraordinary depiction of sexual mores. When the apparently angelic Th(r)r se commits murder, she offers sexual favours to a petty clerk if he will dispose of the body; the pregnant Flavie manipulates a neighbour's interest in her dowry to arrange a shotgun wedding; churchgoing women find their hunger for Christianity unsatisfied by a vapid priest ? these beautiful and poignant stories are united by the powerful themes of deception and dissatisfaction. "
Category: Fiction

At All Hazards

Author : Mark Seymour
ISBN : 9781419683220
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 87.77 MB
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Set against the turmoil of the late spring of 1975, "At All Hazards" tells the tale of the fall of Saigon to the rapidly approaching North Vietnamese Army.At the same time, however, a small team of embittered US veterans (Special Forces, Marines, and SEALs) has taken on a more personal task: stealing the crates of gold bullion lying in the vaults of the National Bank of South Vietnam.First, however, they must purloin expense money from a pair of CIA 'puzzle box' banks, one each in Paris and London, and, once in-country, procure enough military hardware (including a stolen tank) to fight their own 'little war' within the larger war raging around them.Then, too, they have to figure out a way to get it all out of town. As the roads are impassable and the NVA controls all waterways leading to the South China Sea, the only way out left to them is the sky.But everyone else in Saigon, both the tiny remaining US presence and its many allies among the South Vietnamese, are scrambling to get out the same way, using any aircraft, fixed wing or rotor, still flying.The team also has a unique problem: the gold weighs sixteen tons. Throw in a truck or two capable of carrying it, and the team itself, and they're going to need to find themselves one hell of an airplane. . .
Category: Fiction

Dial M For Merde

Author : Stephen Clarke
ISBN : 9781407039602
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 55.46 MB
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In the South of France, Paul West has a license to thrill. He has just received an offer he can't refuse: two weeks in the sun, all expenses paid, with a beautiful blonde called Gloria Monday. But it soon becomes obvious that M, as Gloria likes to be known, is not really interested in holidaying with Paul. She has bigger fish to fry. Meanwhile Paul's best friend Elodie is getting married, and Paul is asked to do the catering. Cooking for the French is a risky assignment at the best of times, but Paul assures Elodie that nothing can go wrong. Or can it? When Paul discovers that M's real target is France's biggest fish of all - the new President - and that he's coming to Elodie's wedding, he realises that the merde is about to hit the fan ...
Category: Fiction

Nana

Author : Émile Zola
ISBN : 9789604009572
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 74.16 MB
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Nana is a novel by the French naturalist author Émile Zola. Completed in 1880, Nana is the ninth installment in the 20-volume Les Rougon-Macquart series. Nana tells the story of Nana Coupeau's rise from streetwalker to high-class cocotte during the last three years of the French Second Empire. The novel opens with a night at the Théâtre des Variétés. Nana is 15 years old. Zola describes in detail the performance of La blonde Vénus, a fictional operetta modelled after Offenbach's La belle Hélène, in which Nana is cast as the lead. She has never been seen on a stage, but tout Paris is talking about her. When asked to say something about her talents, Bordenave, the manager of the theatre, explains that a star doesn't have to know how to sing or act. Just as the crowd is about to dismiss her performance as terrible, young Georges Hugon shouts: "Très chic!" From then on, she owns the audience. The novel then goes on to show how Nana destroys every man who pursues her.
Category: Fiction

Ma I Ve Reached For The Moon An I M Hittin The Stars

Author : Martha Long
ISBN : 9781780574943
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 88.81 MB
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After a failed suicide attempt and recovery in the mad house, Martha is heading for France to be reunited with the one true love of her life. Father Ralph Fitzgerald rescued her from the streets when she was sixteen and was the first person to show Martha true love and affection. But their relationship threatened his vocation and he eventually fled to Africa to take up missionary work. Martha never got over losing him and now, after nearly twenty years, he has made contact again. She sets off on a mission to find him and uncover his motives for getting in touch. Does he still love her? Has he left the priesthood? Is he now free to marry her? She needs to know what the future is going to hold.
Category: Biography & Autobiography

Merde

Author : Ralph A. Lewin
ISBN : 9780307557896
Genre : Science
File Size : 80.79 MB
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Merde is an unusual (very unusual) and witty investigation into a subject you may always have wondered about--but didn't know quite what to ask. History, biology, anthropology, culture, animal behavior--all of these are the real subjects of Merde. Why can some animals do it on the run, and others can't? Why does camel dung make good fires? What are the fascinating stories of the dung beetles? Myths and legends, physical features, health and disease, uses for construction and as fertilizers--even nutritional values!--Ralph Lewin writes about them all in the most ingratiating and sophisticated and yet scientific way. Merde is also full of personal adventures and observations, as well as anecdotes and examples. The scattered literature on this subject is voluminous, but until now no one has perused and compiled it all and given it a personal touch, so to speak. It will be hard not to talk about this treasure trove of a book after you've finished it--or perhaps even when you're in the middle of it.
Category: Science

Gulliver Quick

Author : Maureen Earl
ISBN : 9781453293850
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 49.59 MB
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Gulliver Quick begins with the title character’s death. Immediately thereafter, five women present at the scene claim to be the sole murderer, thus establishing the exciting backdrop to a detailed chronological account of Quick’s colorful, turbulent life as a prominent artist whose appetites are strong, whose achievements are great, and whose adventures, carefully tied to actual 20th-century events, span four centuries.
Category: Fiction