Dont Lick The Minivan

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Don T Lick The Minivan

Author : Leanne Shirtliffe
ISBN : 9781634509251
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 36.26 MB
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As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia’s sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia. In Don’t Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as: The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied. The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan’s paint with rocks. The funeral she officiated for “Stripper Barbie.” The horror of glitter. And much more! Shirtliffe eventually realizes that even if she can’t teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she’s a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins’ therapy fund. And possibly her own. Shirtliffe’s memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.
Category: Family & Relationships

No More Beige Food

Author : Leanne Shirtliffe
ISBN : 9781634509312
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 66.26 MB
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One night Wilma Lee Wu sits down for dinner—in front of some food that might’ve been meat—when she declares she can’t take it: “Please, no more beige food!” She’s tired of the bland and mushy meals her parents make. So Wilma and her little brother venture in search of some neighbors willing to teach them how to cook new food. From Khun Joe’s pad thai to Ms. Azar’s Lebanese kibbe, they learn to make all sorts of tasty dishes. But how will Wilma respond when Monsieur Poutine offers to teach her how to make frog legs? The sequel to The Change Your Name Store, No More Beige Food will delight both old fans of Wilma Lee Wu and new readers. Both adults and children will love this clever, rhyming tale—it might even get some picky eaters curious about going on their own culinary adventures! Tina Kügler’s charming and lively illustrations give great personalities to an array of characters from around the world; this is the perfect book for parents looking to talk about diversity with young children. Sky Pony Press, with our Good Books, Racehorse and Arcade imprints, is proud to publish a broad range of books for young readers—picture books for small children, chapter books, books for middle grade readers, and novels for young adults. Our list includes bestsellers for children who love to play Minecraft; stories told with LEGO bricks; books that teach lessons about tolerance, patience, and the environment, and much more. While not every title we publish becomes a New York Times bestseller or a national bestseller, we are committed to books on subjects that are sometimes overlooked and to authors whose work might not otherwise find a home.
Category: Juvenile Fiction

Mommyfesto

Author : Leanne Shirtliffe
ISBN : 9781632200518
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 73.54 MB
Format : PDF
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The goal of parenting is to train your children to have slightly better manners than a dog. If you’ve achieved that by the end of day (or even if you’ve failed majestically trying), it is important to celebrate the little things. Like bedtime. And screw-top wine. And with Mommyfesto, by award-winning humor blogger Leanne Shirtliffe, you’ll learn the nitty-gritty about what it means to be a real parent. Without resorting to stereotypical “poo and pee jokes,” Shirtliffe finds humor in the insanity of raising children and celebrates using how-to-parent-like-an-expert books as paperweights for your child’s art collection in the recycling bin. Mommyfesto contains more than 150 realistic (and downright humorous) truths about parenting, such as: A Band-Aid and a kiss solve most daily crises. So does talking like a pirate. Expectations of child rearing should be thrown out the window. It’s better than throwing out your child. If you can survive parented piano lessons, you can survive a zombie apocalypse. And much more! Mommyfesto offers parents the opportunity to laugh at the absurdity of childrearing and to realize there is no right way to do it. Blank pages in the back of the book encourage moms (and dads, too!) to add their beliefs—whether bizarre, funny, or even serious—to the book, making this a go-to guide for generations of crazed parents. Leanne's blog, IronicMom.com, was recently declared the Best Humour Blog by the Canadian Weblog Awards, a juried competition. IronicMom.com garners 8,000–13,000 hits per month and has been featured on high-traffic sites such as The Christian Science Monitor, ProBlogger, Wordpress’ home page, Canadian Family, CBC, the Calgary Herald, and Sweet Mama. IronicMom.com was recognized as one of the top five new blogs by the Canadian Weblog Awards (2010) and as the top parenting blog in Calgary (a city of over 1 million people) and as the Most Laugh–Out–Loud Funny blog by Sweet Mama, a popular Canadian website.
Category: Family & Relationships

The Change Your Name Store

Author : Leanne Shirtliffe
ISBN : 9781628739480
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 28.62 MB
Format : PDF
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Who am I? It’s a question a lot of children seem to ask themselves, at which point being “them” simply isn’t enough. They want to be someone better. Many kids want to change their names. This is what happened to Wilma Lee Wu. One day, Wilma decides she no longer likes her name, and she sets off for the Change Your Name Store to find a new one. Once at the store, the possibilities seem endless. Mrs. Zeena McFooz, the store-owner, says that Wilma can try out any new name she wants with one catch: she must “go for a ride” to discover what it means to be that name. Will being Babette Bijou from France be better than Wilma Lee Wu? What about Dominga Delfino from Belize? Featuring an exciting story of discovery from author and humor blogger Leanne Shirtliffe (of IronicMom.com), and fun, simple illustrations by Tina Kügler, The Change Your Name Store takes children on a journey to find their true identity and to celebrate who they are—name and all. Children ages 3 to 6 will be able to relate to Wilma's search for who she really is. The book promotes diversity, which is an important topic to kids to understand at an early age, and will be a good addition to preschool classrooms and urban homes in particular. Zeena McFooz is gentle and matter-of-fact, and the tone of the book is one of exploration and celebration of our individuality. The illustrations are sure to captivate kids' attention while helping to bring this important message to life. Sky Pony Press, with our Good Books, Racehorse and Arcade imprints, is proud to publish a broad range of books for young readers—picture books for small children, chapter books, books for middle grade readers, and novels for young adults. Our list includes bestsellers for children who love to play Minecraft; stories told with LEGO bricks; books that teach lessons about tolerance, patience, and the environment, and much more. While not every title we publish becomes a New York Times bestseller or a national bestseller, we are committed to books on subjects that are sometimes overlooked and to authors whose work might not otherwise find a home.
Category: Juvenile Fiction

I Love Sharks Too

Author : Leanne Shirtliffe
ISBN : 9781510708853
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 60.70 MB
Format : PDF
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Stevie likes sharks. Like a LOT. In response to everything his mom asks him, Stevie has an excellent shark fact in response. “Brush your teeth, Stevie.” “Mom, Mako sharks don’t have to brush their teeth because they are covered in fluoride.” From morning to bedtime—you would think this might totally wear his mom down. But guess who likes, sharks, too? The book is filled with tons of fun facts, and also information about different shark breeds.
Category: Juvenile Fiction

Rage Against The Minivan

Author : Kristen Howerton
ISBN : 9781984825179
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 44.39 MB
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“With humor, vulnerability, and heart, Kristen Howerton writes unflinchingly about what it means to be raising children in today’s world and how to liberate ourselves from the myth of perfect motherhood.”—Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed and Love Warrior, founder of Together Rising In Rage Against the Minivan, blogger, podcaster, and licensed marriage and family therapist Kristen Howerton lends solidarity to those who love their kids like crazy but feel like parenting is making them crazy, too. With her signature blend of vulnerability, sarcasm, and insight, Howerton shares her unexpected journey from infertility to adoption to pregnancy to divorce to dealing with the shock and awe of raising teens. This book is for • the parent who had it totally figured out before they had kids • the parent who said “I will never . . .” and now they have • the parent who needs a time-out and a nap as badly as their child does • the parent who looks like they have it all together but feels like a hot mess on the inside • the parent who looks like a hot mess on the outside, too • the parent who asks Am I good enough? Doing enough? Doing it right? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with these children? Are they eighteen yet? Recounting her successes, trials, mishaps, and hard-won wisdom as a parent of four kids—both white and black—Howerton tackles many of the thorny issues parents face today, like hard conversations about racism, disciplining other people’s kids, the reality of Dad Privilege, and (never) attaining that elusive work/life balance. Whether it’s about toddler tantrums or teen angst, Howerton reveals how she learned to opt out from the pressure to do it all perfectly and opt in to excelling at average. Poignant and relatable, Rage Against the Minivan is a permission slip to allow yourself to be a “good enough” parent, learning how to love your kids well while letting yourself off the hook.
Category: Family & Relationships

Saving Thunder The Great

Author : Leanne Shirtliffe
ISBN : 1927099854
Genre : Fires
File Size : 80.47 MB
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On May 3, 2016, flames from a ferocious wildfire roared into Fort McMurray. Mamma and Thunder the Great- a gerbil belonging to her son Jackson-were forced to flee their northern Alberta home.
Category: Fires

Don T You Forget About Me

Author : Jaime Clarke
ISBN : 1416950370
Genre : Literary Collections
File Size : 34.22 MB
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No one captured the teen portion of the eighties as poignantly as writer-director John Hughes. Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and Some Kind of Wonderful are timeless tales of love, angst, longing, and self-discovery that illuminated and assuaged the anxieties of an entire generation. Fondly nostalgic, filled with wit and surprising insights, don't you forget about me contains original essays from a skillfully chosen crop of novelists and essayists on the films' far-reaching effects on their own lives -- an irresistible read for anyone who came of age in the eighties (or just wishes they did). Featuring new writing from: Steve Almond * Julianna Baggott * Lisa Borders * Ryan Boudinot * T Cooper * Quinn Dalton * Emily Franklin * Lisa Gabriele * Tod Goldberg * Nina de Gramont * Tara Ison * Allison Lynn * John McNally * Dan Pope * Lewis Robinson * Ben Schrank * Elizabeth Searle * Mary Sullivan * Rebecca Wolff * Moon Unit Zappa
Category: Literary Collections

To Darkness And To Death

Author : Julia Spencer-Fleming
ISBN : 1429909080
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 57.91 MB
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Saturday, November 14, 5:00 A.M. In the small Adirondack town of Millers Kill, an old lumberman sits in the dark with his gun across his knees. Not far away, an unemployed logger sleeps off his bender from the night before. The owner of the town's last paper mill tosses in his bed. And a young woman, one of three heirs to the 250,000-acre Great Camp, wakes alone in darkness, bound and gagged. Chief of Police Russ Van Alstyne wants nothing more than a quiet day of hunting in the mountains on his fiftieth birthday. His wife needs to have the town's new luxury resort ready for its gala opening night. The Reverend Clare Fergusson expects to spend the day getting St. Alban's Church ready for the bishop's annual visit. Her long-distance suitor from New York expects some answers about their relationship during his weekend in town. In Millers Kill, where everyone knows everyone and all are part of an interconnected web of blood or acquaintance, one person's troubles have a way of ensnaring others. What begins as a simple case of a woman lost in the woods leads to a tangle of revenge, blackmail, assault, kidnapping, and murder. As the hours tick by, Russ and Clare struggle to make sense of their town's plunge into chaos---and their own chaotic emotions. Something terrible waits in the ice-rimed mountains cradling Millers Kill. Something that won't be content with just one death---or two. . . Julia Spencer-Fleming continues her moving story of the way a small town, as well as a great city, can harbor evil, and the struggle of two honest people to deal with the ever-present threat of their feelings for one another.
Category: Fiction

Bulletproof Girl

Author : Quinn Dalton
ISBN : 1451604408
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 20.85 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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In Bulletproof Girl, Quinn Dalton offers eleven raw and witty stories powered by a rich mix of women's voices. The stakes are high in these diverse narratives. "Dinner at Josette's" explores the nature of female friendships in the story of a woman whose best friend is in love with a gay man. "Midnight Bowling" follows seventeen-year-old Tess as she escapes her fanatically religious mother's pipe dreams and her dead father's legacy. In "Lennie Remembers the Angels," a woman confronts a long-ago vision as she recovers from a hit-and-run accident. In "Graceland," a once supportive businessman's wife turns to murder. And in "How to Clean Your Apartment," a jilted lover creates a spring cleaning reference guide as she tries to get over her man. At times tragic and savagely funny, Bulletproof Girl is a dynamic anthology from a strong new voice in fiction.
Category: Fiction

Jennifer Scales And The Ancient Furnace

Author : MaryJanice Davidson
ISBN : 9781440622298
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 34.16 MB
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She knew that growing up would mean changing. But Jennifer wasn't prepared for the blue scales or the claws, since no one had told her that she came from a bloodline of weredragons. Her greatest challenge? Protecting herself from her family's ancient enemies and preparing herself for fierce battles. And that's a lot to expect of a girl just coming into her own.
Category: Fiction

Unconditional Love

Author : Don Landy
ISBN : 9781617771514
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 83.70 MB
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Dogs were never a part of Don Landy's life plan. He and his wife were devoted breeders of show cats, and a dog just didn't seem to fit in the picture. That was, until a brutal winter storm brought a very large, tired and hungry dog to the front door. After experiencing the heartbreak of finding their houseguest a forever home, they realized it was time to add a baby to the family, and before you could say 'impossible', they were the proud owners of a nine and a half week old German Shepherd named Sabrina. Over the next eleven years Sabrina went from one debilitating illness to another. They spent much of our time traveling from one specialist to another, watching and waiting as she underwent six major surgeries. But no matter how intense the pain, her disposition never changed. She loved everyone, and bounded through life with the spirit of a puppy and an ever present smile. Sabrina taught everyone she met the meaning of courage. Each and every day, she demonstrated that life was to be truly lived, for however long God chose to grant her. But the most important lesson Sabrina had to share was that of Unconditional Love. Join Don Landy for this dog's tale of happiness, togetherness, and the everlasting rewards of a pet's love.
Category: Biography & Autobiography

Paper 360

Author :
ISBN : MINN:31951P01059078V
Genre : Paper industry
File Size : 33.2 MB
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Category: Paper industry

Misinformation

Author : Darrell L. Joyce
ISBN : 1593304137
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 63.8 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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A veteran of the comedy circuit and in demand for cruise ship line appearances, comedy clubs and corporate events, Darrell Joyce's cutting edge style is guaranteed to leave audience's doubled over with laughter. And now, Darrell's new book, MisInformation: The Female Perpetuated Myths About Men is guaranteed to do the same for readers. The book dispels the myths women perpetuate about men. Nothing is sacred either as Darrell examines every side of the subject, from deadbeat dads to well, you'll just have to read the book to find out! The goal is clear: To show once and for all that there are indeed many good men out there, and that they're not all married, gay or living with their mothers. This is a book for men, but women would foolish not to read it. In reading MisInformation: The Female Perpetuated Myths About Men, women will learn that there are a bunch of great guys out there if they just stop believing everything other women say. They will laugh out loud in private at Darrell's hilarious yet poignant observations, grouse about the book's outrageous truths to their friends, and hold out silent hope that indeed, there are some great guys still to be found, somewhere, out there.
Category: Biography & Autobiography

Popular Science

Author :
ISBN : UOM:39015066256085
Genre : Periodicals
File Size : 59.64 MB
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Category: Periodicals

Self

Author :
ISBN : IND:30000119611865
Genre : Beauty, Personal
File Size : 62.64 MB
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Category: Beauty, Personal

Life Under A Leaky Roof

Author : David Owen
ISBN : 0867307994
Genre : House & Home
File Size : 21.71 MB
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Life Under a Leaky Roof is a wonderful collection of critically acclaimed sketches on owning, renovating, and maintaining a rambling two-hundred-year-old house.
Category: House & Home

Around The House

Author : David Owen
ISBN : 0679456554
Genre : House & Home
File Size : 72.35 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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A collection of essays addresses a variety of home improvement challenges and chores
Category: House & Home

Tropical Storm

Author : Linda Kay Silva
ISBN : 1883061148
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 87.94 MB
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Megan has disappeared into the Costa Rican rain forest, and it's up to Delta and Connie to find her with few clues to go on
Category: Fiction

Sarcophagus And Other Stories

Author : Jose Y. Dalisay
ISBN : UCSC:32106012490881
Genre : Short stories, Philippine
File Size : 74.93 MB
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Category: Short stories, Philippine