YOU JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WOMEN AND MEN IN CONVERSATION

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You Just Don T Understand

Author : Deborah Tannen
ISBN : 9780062210098
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 54.45 MB
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Women and men live in different worlds...made of different words. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said. Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.
Category: Psychology

You Re Wearing That

Author : Deborah Tannen
ISBN : 1588365212
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 60.1 MB
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Deborah Tannen's #1 New York Times bestseller You Just Don’t Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women’s lives: the mother-daughter relationship. It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language–but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other’s power and underestimates her own. Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique each other on the Big Three–hair, clothes, and weight–while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves? Deborah Tannen answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other, the key to improving their relationship. With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen’s humor as they see themselves on every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and heartfelt, You’re Wearing That? illuminates and enriches one of the most important relationships in our lives. “Tannen analyzes and decodes scores of conversations between moms and daughters. These exchanges are so real they can make you squirm as you relive the last fraught conversation you had with your own mother or daughter. But Tannen doesn't just point out the pitfalls of the mother-daughter relationship, she also provides guidance for changing the conversations (or the way that we feel about the conversations) before they degenerate into what Tannen calls a mutually aggravating spiral, a "self-perpetuating cycle of escalating responses that become provocations." – The San Francisco Chronicle From the Hardcover edition.
Category: Family & Relationships

You Re The Only One I Can Tell

Author : Deborah Tannen
ISBN : 9781101885802
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 26.3 MB
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This warm, wise exploration of female friendship from the #1 bestselling author of You Just Don't Understand will help women lean into these powerful relationships. Best friend, old friend, good friend, bff, college roommate, neighbor, workplace confidante: Women's friendships are a lifeline in times of trouble and a support system for daily life. A friend can be like a sister, daughter, mother, mentor, therapist, or confessor--or she can be all of these at once. She's seen you at your worst and celebrates you at your best. Figuring out what it means to be friends is, in the end, no less than figuring out how we connect to other people. In this illuminating and validating new book, #1 New York Times bestselling author Deborah Tannen deconstructs the ways women friends talk and how those ways can bring friends closer or pull them apart. From casual chatting to intimate confiding, from talking about problems to telling what you had for dinner, Tannen uncovers the patterns of communication and miscommunication that affect friendships at different points in our lives. She shows how even the best of friends--with the best intentions--can say the wrong thing, and how words can repair the damage done by words. Through Tannen's signature insight, humor, and ability to present pitch-perfect real-life dialogue, readers will see themselves and their friendships on every page. The book explains * the power of women friends who show empathy, give advice--or just listen * how women use talk to connect to friends--and to subtly compete * how "Fear of Being Left Out" and "Fear of Getting Kicked Out" can haunt women's friendships * how social media is reshaping communication and relationships Drawing on interviews with eighty women of diverse backgrounds, ranging in age from nine to ninety-seven, You're the Only One I Can Tell gets to the heart of women's friendships--how they work or fail, how they help or hurt, and how we can make them better. Praise for Deborah Tannen You're Wearing THAT?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation "Tannen doesn't just point out the pitfalls of the mother-daughter relationship, she also provides guidance for changing the conversations."--San Francisco Chronicle "Tannen has a gifted ear for the meaning behind the words. She helps us hear what we are really saying."--The Baltimore Sun "The effect of [Tannen's] anecdotes and analysis is to reassure her readers that they are not alone."--The Wall Street Journal "[This] book might help all of us open our eyes."--Chicago Sun-Times You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation "Utterly fascinating . . . a classic in the field."--San Francisco Chronicle "Refreshing and readable . . . vivid examples and lively prose."--The New York Times Book Review "Tannen has a marvelous ear for the way real people express themselves, and a scientist's command of the inner structures of speech and human relationships."--Los Angeles Times
Category: Family & Relationships

Talking From 9 To 5

Author : Deborah Tannen
ISBN : 9780380717835
Genre : Social Science
File Size : 24.51 MB
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Your project went off without a hitch--but somebody else got the credit...You averted a crisis brilliantly--but no one noticed...You came to the meeting with a sensational idea--but it was ignored until someone else said the same thing... HOW CAN YOU GET CREDIT & GET AHEAD? In her extraordinary international bestseller, You Just Don't Understand, Deborah Tannen transformed forever the way we look at intimate relationships between women and men. Now she turns her keen ear and observant eye toward the workplace--where the ways in which men and women communicate can determine who gets heard, who gets ahead, and what gets done. An instant classic, Talking From 9 to 5 brilliantly explains women's and men's conversational rituals--and the language barriers we unintentionally erect in the business world. It is a unique and invaluable guide to recognizing the verbal power games and miscommunications that cause good work to be underappreciated or go unnoticed--an essential tool for promoting more positive and productive professional relationships among men and women.
Category: Social Science

Gender And Discourse

Author : Deborah Tannen
ISBN : 9780190282349
Genre : Language Arts & Disciplines
File Size : 68.39 MB
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Deborah Tannen's You Just Don't Understand spent nearly four years (in cloth and paper) on The New York Times Best Seller list and has sold over a million and a half copies. Clearly, Tannen's insights into how and why women and men so often misunderstand each other when they talk has touched a nerve. For years a highly respected scholar in the field of linguistics, she has now become widely known for her work on how conversational style differences associated with gender affect relationships. Her life work has demonstrated how close and intelligent analysis of conversation can reveal the extraordinary complexities of social relationships--including relationships between men and women. Now, in Gender and Discourse, Tannen has gathered together six of her scholarly essays, including her newest and previously unpublished work in which language and gender are examined through the lens of "sex-class-linked" patterns, rather than "sex-linked" patterns. These essays provide a theoretical backdrop to her best-selling books--and an informative introduction which discusses her field of linguistics, describes the research methods she typically uses, and addresses the controversies surrounding her field as well as some misunderstandings of her work. (She argues, for instance, that her cultural approach to gender differences does not deny that men dominate women in society, nor does it ascribe gender differences to women's "essential nature.") The essays themselves cover a wide range of topics. In one, she analyzes a number of conversational strategies--such as interruption, topic raising, indirection, and silence--and shows that, contrary to much work on language and gender, no strategy exclusively expresses dominance or submissiveness in conversation--interruption (or overlap) can be supportive, silence and indirection can be used to control. It is the interactional context, the participants' individual styles, and the interaction of their styles, Tannen shows, that result in the balance of power. She also provides a fascinating analysis of four groups of males and females (second-, sixth-, and tenth-grade students, and twenty-five year olds) conversing with their best friends, and she includes an early article co-authored with Robin Lakoff that presents a theory of conversational strategy, illustrated by analysis of dialogue in Ingmar Bergman's Scenes from a Marriage. Readers interested in the theoretical framework behind Tannen's work will find this volume fascinating. It will be sure to interest anyone curious about the crucial yet often unnoticed role that language and gender play in our daily lives.
Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

You Just Don T Understand

Author :
ISBN : OCLC:947028269
Genre : Communication in marriage
File Size : 53.5 MB
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Category: Communication in marriage

That S Not What I Meant

Author : Deborah Tannen
ISBN : 9780062210111
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 79.8 MB
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At home, on the job, in a personal relationship, it's often not what you say but how you say it that counts. Deborah Tannen revolutionized our thinking about relationships between women and men in her #1 bestseller You Just Don't Understand. In That's Not What I Meant!, the internationally renowned sociolinguist and expert on communication demonstrates how our conversational signals—voice level, pitch and intonation, rhythm and timing, even the simple turns of phrase we choose—are powerful factors in the success or failure of any relationship. Regional speech characteristics, ethnic and class backgrounds, age, and individual personality all contribute to diverse conversational styles that can lead to frustration and misplaced blame if ignored—but provide tools to improve relationships if they are understood. At once eye-opening, astute, and vastly entertaining, Tannen's classic work on interpersonal communication will help you to hear what isn't said and to recognize how your personal conversational style meshes or clashes with others. It will give you a new understanding of communication that will enable you to make the adjustments that can save a conversation . . . or a relationship.
Category: Psychology

You Were Always Mom S Favorite

Author : Deborah Tannen
ISBN : 9780345496973
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 68.93 MB
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Explores the connections among sisters throughout their childhood years into adulthood, including competitiveness, age differences, and lifelong friendships.
Category: Family & Relationships

I Only Say This Because I Love You

Author : Deborah Tannen
ISBN : 9780345407528
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 88.29 MB
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A guide to communicating better within families explains how to untie the knots that often hamper important discussions and how to enhance personal relationships among family members by understanding the art of conversation and listening.
Category: Family & Relationships

Losing The News

Author : Alex Jones
ISBN : 9780199720569
Genre : Law
File Size : 27.96 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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In Losing the News, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Alex S. Jones offers a probing look at the epochal changes sweeping the media, changes which are eroding the core news that has been the essential food supply of our democracy. At a time of dazzling technological innovation, Jones says that what stands to be lost is the fact-based reporting that serves as a watchdog over government, holds the powerful accountable, and gives citizens what they need. In a tumultuous new media era, with cutthroat competition and panic over profits, the commitment of the traditional news media to serious news is fading. Indeed, as digital technology shatters the old economic model, the news media is making a painful passage that is taking a toll on journalistic values and standards. Journalistic objectivity and ethics are under assault, as is the bastion of the First Amendment. Jones characterizes himself not as a pessimist about news, but a realist. The breathtaking possibilities that the web offers are undeniable, but at what cost? Pundits and talk show hosts have persuaded Americans that the crisis in news is bias and partisanship. Not so, says Jones. The real crisis is the erosion of the iron core of news, something that hurts Republicans and Democrats alike. Losing the News depicts an unsettling situation in which the American birthright of fact-based, reported news is in danger. But it is also a call to arms to fight to keep the core of news intact. Praise for the hardcover: "Thoughtful." --New York Times Book Review "An impassioned call to action to preserve the best of traditional newspaper journalism." --The San Francisco Chronicle "Must reading for all Americans who care about our country's present and future. Analysis, commentary, scholarship and excellent writing, with a strong, easy-to-follow narrative about why you should care, makes this a candidate for one of the best books of the year." --Dan Rather
Category: Law