THE SH T NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT TODDLERS

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The Sh T No One Tells You About Toddlers

Author : Dawn Dais
ISBN : 9781580055901
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 90.14 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
Download : 299
Read : 865

They’re getting bigger. And you’re not getting any more sleep. Second in the Sh!t No One Tells You series, in The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers Dawn Dais tells it like it is – again – offering real advice for parents of growing children. Filled with tips, encouragement, and a strong dose of humor, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers is a survival handbook for parents on the edge. Chapters include: You Suck at This. It’s not just your imagination. Walking Is Hard. Bruising is considerably less difficult. Remember When You Judged Other Parents? Prepare to eat your words, with a side of karma’s a bitch. Restaurants Are Battle Zones. Spoiler Alert: You are not the victor. Kids Get Sick. Then everyone gets sick. This Childhood Will Be Televised. Hello, camera phones. Your TV Has Been Hijacked. By things with very high-pitched voices. Coming from one empathetic parent to another, the tips in this book are real, clever, honest, and designed to make life with a terrible two- or three-year-old a little bit more manageable. Hilarious, helpful, and handy, this book will be appreciated by any parent who has asked: “Why didn’t anybody warn me that unconditional love would be so much work?”
Category: Family & Relationships

The Sh T No One Tells You About Baby 2

Author : Dawn Dais
ISBN : 9781580056328
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 31.92 MB
Format : PDF
Download : 390
Read : 598

The third book in Dawn Dais's popular Sh!t No One Tells You series covers all a parent needs to know once the reality of having two children settles in. Around the time your first baby turns a year old your brain will turn on you. For reasons that are still not understood by science, the sleep deprivation and postpartum hormones you barely survived with your first baby fade from memory and will be replaced with idyllic images of your growing child. This is when your brain, having officially lost all regard for your well-being, begins to fantasize about a second baby. And for the first time since becoming a parent these thoughts don't make you break out in hives. Before you know it, you are dressing your first child in "I'm Going to be a Big Sister!" T-shirts and catalog-shopping for bunk beds. This will be fantastic! But then that familiar morning sickness kicks in. And your adorable 18-month-old transforms into a two-year-old terror. That's when those hives start to return. With Dawn Dais's trademark witty banter, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2 includes chapters such as "You Have Officially Lost Control of the Situation," "Siblings Aren't Nearly as Adorable as You Imagined," "You'll Have a Favorite," and "Having Kids Looks a Lot Easier on TV."
Category: Family & Relationships

The Sh T No One Tells You About Pregnancy

Author : Dawn Dais
ISBN : 9781580056342
Genre : Health & Fitness
File Size : 43.1 MB
Format : PDF
Download : 914
Read : 1124

The fourth book in Dawn Dais's popular Sh!t No One Tells You series offers "been there, freaked out about that" advice for expectant parents The fourth title in Dawn Dais's popular parenting series, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy is quite possibly the funniest, and most heartfelt, yet. After all, pregnancy is not all about scanning Pinterest for baby shower themes and registering for ironic onesies, and sometimes the less flattering aspects of gestation have a way of dimming a bit of that so-called pregnancy glow. Not to worry! Dawn is here, ready to shepherd you through the experience of one human body taking on the task of growing another human body. (Spoiler alert: It ain't always pretty.) Dawn covers it all, sharing expert lists, tips, warnings, and even a series of Parent-Training Workouts designed to increase readers' tolerance to the various indignities of parenthood, like peeing with an audience and surviving an afternoon in Chuck E. Cheese. The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy is a must-have guide for expectant moms (and their partners!) who are looking for some counsel, comedy, and camaraderie during their ultimate countdown to parenthood.
Category: Health & Fitness

The Sh T No One Tells You

Author : Dawn Dais
ISBN : 9781580054850
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 77.13 MB
Format : PDF
Download : 659
Read : 316

A humorous, realistic, and supportive guide to the first 52 weeks with a baby, The Sh!t No One Tells You is the first book in Dawn Dais's popular parenting series, followed by The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers and The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2. There comes a time in every new mother’s life when she finds herself staring at her screaming, smelly “bundle of joy” and wishing someone had told her that her house would reek of vomit, or that she shouldn’t buy the cute onesies with a thousand impossible buttons, or that she might cry more than the baby. Best-selling author Dawn Dais, mother of two tiny terrors, is convinced that there is a reason for this lack of preparedness. She believes that a vast conspiracy exists to hide the horrific truth about parenting from doe-eyed expectant mothers who might otherwise abandon their babies in hospitals and run for it. Eschewing the adorableness that oozes out of other parenting books, Dais offers real advice from real moms—along with hilarious anecdotes, clever tips, and the genuine encouragement every mom needs in order to survive the first year of parenthood. The Sh!t No One Tells You is a must-have companion for every new mother’s sleepless nights and poop-filled days.
Category: Family & Relationships

The Overly Honest Baby Book

Author : Dawn Dais
ISBN : 9781580056403
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 68.78 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
Download : 173
Read : 652

Riffing off the sweet, sentimental baby memory books in the gift market, The Overly Honest Baby Book will highlight the real milestones of parenting—the indignities of childbirth, the first green poop, the first time Baby bit Mommy's boob while feeding, the first projectile spit-up, and more. Dawn's uniquely sarcastic yet playful tone has entertained and guided an enthusiastic and devoted readership over the years.
Category: Family & Relationships

The Nonrunner S Marathon Guide For Women

Author : Dawn Dais
ISBN : 9781580052801
Genre : Health & Fitness
File Size : 60.6 MB
Format : PDF
Download : 920
Read : 1154

Dawn Dais hated running. And it didn't like her much, either. Her fitness routine consisted of avoiding the stairs in her own house, because who really has the energy to climb stairs? It was with this exercise philosophy firmly in place that she set off to complete a marathon. The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women is a fun training manual for women who don't believe that running is their biological destiny but who dream of crossing the finish line nonetheless. Dais's audiobook features a realistic training schedule and is chock-full of how-to's and funny observations, which she felt were lacking in the guides she had consulted. She also integrates entries from her journal, sharing everything would-be marathoners need to know about the gear, the blisters, the early morning workouts, the late-night carb binges, and most important of all, the amazing rewards. Anyone can do a marathon. This audiobook just makes the experience a little more bearable and a lot more fun.
Category: Health & Fitness

102 Things To Do Before You Are Due

Author : Dawn Dais
ISBN : 1947458493
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 31.56 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
Download : 393
Read : 847

102 Things to Do Before you are Due is a practical and entertaining handbook that provides interactive and solid advice to the parents to-be with eye-catching illustrations, checklists, actionable charts, and many laugh-out-loud tips.
Category: Family & Relationships

The Non Cyclist S Guide To The Century And Other Road Races

Author : Dawn Dais
ISBN : 9781458766762
Genre : Sports & Recreation
File Size : 25.25 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
Download : 634
Read : 470

Get off your butt, into some spandex ... and then back on your butt again! Dawn Dais, author of The Non runner's Marathon Guide for Women, is back and ready to take new cyclists from the bike store floor to the finish line. Dawn covers everything newbie racers need to know: selecting the race that's best for you, choosing a bike that offers both performance and comfort, creating a training schedule (and sticking to it), getting to know the cycling community and actually participating in a century - plus information on cycling vacations, commuting to work, and more. With hilarious, true-life accounts of cross-training and crotch rashes, The Non cyclist's Guide to the Century and Other Road Races is a fun and informative book that's perfect for both athletes and non-athletes interested in getting their butts into gear.
Category: Sports & Recreation

Toddlers Are A Holes

Author : Bunmi Laditan
ISBN : 9780761185642
Genre : Humor
File Size : 41.27 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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Read : 569

Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.
Category: Humor

Caring For Your Baby Young Child

Author : Steven P. Shelov
ISBN : 0192627783
Genre : Child care
File Size : 54.94 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
Download : 640
Read : 337

This authoritative and comprehensive book brings you state-of-the-art answers to all your medical and parenting concerns. Written in a warm, accessible style and illustrated with more than 350 helpful drawings and diagrams, this book gives you the information you need to know about looking after your baby up to the age of five. In Caring for your Baby and Young Child you will find: BL a month-by-month guide to your baby's first year that lets you know what to expect in terms of growth, behaviour, and development BL a yearly guide for years two to five, with practical advice for dealing with nightmares, bedwetting, and temper tantrums BL health watch features that alert you to potential problems at each stage BL advice on effective discipline and optimal nurturing BL a complete health encyclopaedia covering illnesses, injuries, congenital diseases, and other disabilities BL a discussion of family issues from sibling rivalry and adoption to stepfamilies and professional child care. This is an essential child care resource for all parents who want the best for their children.
Category: Child care