MURDER HAS NINE LIVES A JAINE AUSTEN MYSTERY

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Murder Has Nine Lives

Author : Laura Levine
ISBN : 0758285108
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 20.43 MB
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"I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny, they always make me laugh out loud." --Joanne Fluke Freelance writer Jaine Austen has a new job, a tropical vacation on the horizon, and her cat Prozac is slated to star in a major commercial. But when the claws come out behind the scenes, murder is the only thing to meow about . . . When Jaine's cat Prozac is tapped to star in a Skinny Kitty commercial, Jaine never would have guessed the world of cat food could be so, well, catty. Nervous about the finicky furball's diva nature, Jaine is pleasantly surprised--if not in stunned disbelief--at the sight of Prozac eating and napping on cue like a seasoned pro. But just as Jaine begins dreaming of fame and fortune, Skinny Kitty's inventor drops dead on the set. Everyone is a suspect--including Jaine. And she'll have to get her paws on the truth before the killer takes a swipe at another victim . . . "Levine's charming heroine is right on target." --Kirkus Reviews
Category: Fiction

Death Of A Neighborhood Witch

Author : Laura Levine
ISBN : 9780758292162
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 72.34 MB
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Reprinted Edition "I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny." --Joanne Fluke When Jaine Austen's beloved cat Prozac unwittingly scares to death a parakeet belonging to the neighborhood's resident curmudgeon, Jaine finds herself knee-deep in toil and trouble. The cantankerous Hollywood has-been once played Cryptessa Muldoon, television's fourth most famous monster mom. Now she spends her days making enemies with everyone on the block. So when the ornery D-lister is murdered with her own Do Not Trespass sign on Halloween night, the neighborhood fills with relief--and possible culprits. With a killer on the loose, Jaine hardly has time to fall under the spell of her yummy new neighbor, Peter. As the prime suspect, she summons her sleuthing skills to clear her name and soon discovers that everyone has a few skeletons in their closets. . . "Levine's latest finds her at her witty and wacky best." --Kirkus Reviews "Cozy fans will enjoy seeing how Jaine wiggles out of this one." --Publishers Weekly
Category: Fiction

Death Of A Bachelorette

Author : Laura Levine
ISBN : 9781496708489
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 76.80 MB
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Freelance writer Jaine Austen thought working for a knock-off reality show in the tropics would be paradise. But when she and her kitty Prozac find themselves trapped between a dimwitted leading man, catty contestants, and a cold-blooded murderer, the splashy gig becomes one deadly nightmare . . . Jaine’s life has been a royal pain since she started penning dialogue for Some Day My Prince Will Come—a cheesy dating show that features bachelorettes competing for the heart of Spencer Dalworth VII, a very distant heir to the British throne. But when one of the finalists dies in a freak accident, it’s clear someone wanted the woman out of the race for good—and the police won’t allow a soul off the island until they seize the culprit. Terrified of existing another day without air conditioning and eager to return home, Jaine is throwing herself into the investigation. And she better pounce on clues quickly—or there won’t be any survivors left . . .
Category: Fiction

Last Writes

Author : Laura Levine
ISBN : 9780758278821
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 23.19 MB
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Wisecracking pen-for-hire Jaine Austen is back--and she's about to discover that working on the set of a Hollywood sitcom is no laughing matter. . . Jaine still hasn't found a good man--or a way to keep all those sugary snacks from going straight to her hips. But--with a little help from her best friend Kandi--she's finally landed a gig as a sitcom writer! True, Muffy 'n Me (aka "Bewitched with Tits") isn't going to win any Emmys. And her office at Miracle Studios needs a little sprucing up, and a few dozen rat traps. But it sure beats writing boring brochures and bad resumes, so Jaine's not complaining. Until the plot thickens--with murder. . . Jaine figures the trouble all started when Muffy 'n Me's hottest star, gorgeous Quinn Kirkland, seduced the head writer--whose husband also works on the show. But when Quinn's caught in bed with the barely-legal actress who plays his niece, things really heat up--and his many jealous girlfriends start to figure things out. . . So when the no-good heartthrob drops dead after nibbling a poisoned doughnut, Jaine isn't terribly surprised. But who could have done it? A competitive co-star and a couple of scorned lovers top Jaine's list of suspects, but the police have zeroed in on her man-crazy pal Kandi. She fell hard for Quinn--and nearly fell apart when she learned of all his other women. Now Jaine has to figure out who finally stopped Quinn's cheatin' heart--before her best friend ends up behind bars. . .
Category: Fiction

This Pen For Hire

Author : Laura Levine
ISBN : 9781617736186
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 71.15 MB
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"I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny." --Joanne Fluke Smarmy personals ads. Daring declarations of love. Freelance writer Jaine Austen has penned them all. But no one needs her help more than geeky, gawky Howard Murdoch. His request is simple enough: a letter proclaiming his undying love for Stacy Lawrence, a gorgeous aerobics instructor. The fact that he's never actually met the woman gives Jaine pause--yet she soon overcomes her misgivings, and the unlikely Romeo lands a date! But his triumph is short-lived. On Valentine's Day, Howard finds Stacy bludgeoned to death with a Thigh Master--and is quickly named the prime suspect. Jaine is shocked. Sure, Howard's awkward and eccentric. But a murderer? That's hard to believe. Especially after a little sleuthing reveals a plethora of people who harbored less-than-loving feelings towards the svelte Stacy. Now Jaine had better wrangle her clues quickly, before a crafty killer catches on--and puts a whole new spin on her ghost writing career. . . "Sheer fun!" --Carolyn Hart
Category: Fiction

Death Of A Trophy Wife

Author : Laura Levine
ISBN : 0758272227
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 37.2 MB
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Without a job or a date in sight, freelance writer Jaine Austen is equally out of luck in finance and romance. So when her friend Lance offers to treat her to brunch at the Four Seasons, Jaine leaps at the invite. They've barely made it through the menu when Lance spots his friend Bunny, who is the new trophy wife of mattress maven Marvin Cooper. When Bunny generously offers Jaine a gig writing Marv's new advertising campaign, Jaine accepts the job, and an invitation to her upcoming soirée. But at the party Bunny cruelly rules the Cooper mansion and before the evening is over, someone poisons Bunny. The police arrest Lance, but Jaine knows his murderous urges end at her closet door. Setting out to clear his name, she soon discovers a list of suspects longer than Bunny's credit card bill. . . "Zany. . .series fans will find Jaine as funny as ever." --Publishers Weekly "If you love a good mystery, this book is for you." --New York Journal of Books
Category: Fiction

Secret Santa

Author : Fern Michaels
ISBN : 9781420132717
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 57.25 MB
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Christmas is the time for miracles, mayhem, and holiday romance in these wonderful stories from four of today's most beloved authors. . . "Mister Christmas" by Fern Michaels A week before Christmas, attorney Claire O'Brien is summoned to Ireland to change her wealthy client's will--only to encounter resistance from his handsome nephew. Will Claire be forced to spend the holidays up close and personal with her irresistible Irish nemesis? "The Yellow Rose of Christmas" by Marie Bostwick Though Miss Velvet Tudmore wrote off romance years ago, rumor has it she has a secret admirer. And when her surprise suitor promises to reveal himself at the annual Christmas ball in Too Much, Texas, Velvet starts to wonder: is it ever too late to find love? "Nightmare on Elf Street" by Laura Levine Aside from the mortifying costume, how bad can a gig as a mall Santa's elf be? Jaine Austen finds out when she's teamed up with the Santa from Hell. But things go from bad to worse when he's found murdered on the job--and Jaine is a suspect. Now all she wants for Christmas is to find the real killer. . . "Room at the Inn" by Cindy Myers When a Rocky Mountain blizzard forces Barb and her husband to spend Christmas in a remote Colorado cabin with their fellow travelers, Barb struggles to cope--especially when her husband reveals troubling news. But sometimes a holiday shake-up is all a woman needs to discover what she's truly made of. . ..
Category: Fiction

Death By Tiara

Author : Laura Levine
ISBN : 9780758285089
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 35.86 MB
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"I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny." --Joanne Fluke For freelance writer Jaine Austen, working behind the scenes at a teen beauty pageant has shown her that sometimes beauty is in the eye of the murderer… Teen contestant Taylor Van Sant has a talent for singing, but she can't write a song. So her über-pushy stage mom Heather has hired Jaine to pen lyrics the judges will love. Unfortunately, the hotel hosting Miss Teen Queen America is a dump, the cattiness is out of control, and Candace--the perfectly-coiffed, whip-cracking pageant director--is making even Jaine's life miserable. When Candace's assistant Amy is found bludgeoned to death with a silver tiara, there are more suspects than sequins on a pageant gown--and Heather is first on the list. Taylor begs Jaine to help clear her mom's name, but finding the culprit is going to be trickier than walking the stage in stilettos… "Entertaining…cozy fun." --Publishers Weekly
Category: Fiction

The Pms Murder

Author : Laura Levine
ISBN : 9781617736193
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 66.22 MB
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"I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny." --Joanne Fluke On the frontlines of the battle of the bulge, otherwise known as trying on bathing suits in the communal dressing room at Loehmann's, freelance writer Jaine Austen makes a new friend--a wannabe actress named Pam--and gets a new job: sprucing up Pam's bare-bones resume. Their feeling of connection is mutual, so Pam invites Jaine to join The PMS Club–a women's support group that meets once a week over guacamole and margaritas. But joining the club proves to be more a curse than a blessing for Jaine. Though she is warned that Rochelle, the hostess, makes a guacamole to die for, Jaine never takes the warning literally. Until another PMS member, Marybeth, drops dead over a mouthful of the green stuff. Now instead of dishing dirt with The PMS Club, Jaine has to dig up the dirt on the surviving members. . . "Jaine can really dish it out." --The New York Times Book Review
Category: Fiction

Death Of A Neighborhood Scrooge

Author : Laura Levine
ISBN : 9781496708519
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 26.37 MB
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“I’m crazy about Laura Levine’s mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny.” —Joanne Fluke Freelance writer Jaine Austen is feeling festive about spending Christmas house-sitting at a posh Bel Air mansion, accompanied by her friend Lance and her cat, Prozac. But when a grumpy neighbor gets himself iced, she’ll have to find the culprit or she may spend the New Year in jail . . . Scotty Parker is a former child star who once played Tiny Tim, but now he’s grown up into the role of neighborhood Scrooge. He cuts the wires on his neighbors’ Christmas lights and tells local kids that Santa had a stroke. And his miserly, bah-humbug attitude lasts year-round—a fact known all too well by his current wife, his ex-wife, his maid, and many more. Scotty thinks he can stage a comeback with the screenplay he’s working on (The Return of Tiny Tim: Vengeance Is Mine!), and Jaine’s been reluctantly helping him edit it. So when Scotty is bludgeoned with a frozen chocolate yule log and the police start making a list of suspects and checking it twice, Jaine’s name is unfortunately included. True, she’s been under some stress, with Lance trying to set her up on dates and her fickle feline taking a sudden liking to someone else—but she’s not guilty of murder. Now she just has to prove it, by using her gift for detection and figuring out who committed this holiday homicide.
Category: Fiction