LIFE AS I BLOW IT TALES OF LOVE LIFE SEX NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER

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Life As I Blow It

Author : Sarah Colonna
ISBN : 9780345528384
Genre : Humor
File Size : 33.3 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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In this wickedly funny and irreverent memoir, Chelsea Lately writer and comedian Sarah Colonna opens up about love, life, and pursuing her dreams . . . and then screwing it all up. Sarah believes we all struggle to grow up. Sometimes we want to have fun, not take things too seriously, and have that fourth margarita. Other times we would like to get married, stay in, order Chinese food, and have a responsible, secure life. From her formative years in small-town Arkansas to a later career of dates, drinks, and questionable day jobs, Colonna attempts to reconcile her responsible side with her fun-loving side. Sometimes this pans out, and sometimes she finds herself in Mexico handing out her phone number to anyone who calls her pretty. She moves to Los Angeles to pursue acting, but for years is forced to hone her bartending skills; she wants a serious boyfriend, but won’t give up nights at the bar with her friends. She tries to behave like an adult, but can’t seem to stop acting like a frat boy. In the end, she discovers that there doesn’t have to be just one or the other. And if there’s one thing Colonna has learned from her many missteps, it’s that hindsight is always 100 proof. Includes a Foreword by Chelsea Handler From the Trade Paperback edition.
Category: Humor

I Can Barely Take Care Of Myself

Author : Jen Kirkman
ISBN : 9781451667004
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 87.13 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Discusses the author's choice to not have children and how it shapes and affects her comedy career, and provides humorous advice to those making similiar choices on how to handle friends and family pressuring them to have a child.
Category: Biography & Autobiography

Has Anyone Seen My Pants

Author : Sarah Colonna
ISBN : 9781476771922
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 51.72 MB
Format : PDF
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The best-selling author of Life as I Blow It documents her haphazard journey through America and Mexico as she embarks on crying jags in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos and single-shaming resorts. Original.
Category: Biography & Autobiography

My Inappropriate Life

Author : Heather McDonald
ISBN : 9781451672244
Genre : Humor
File Size : 34.37 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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In this hilarious account of her venture into motherhood, New York Times bestselling author and Chelsea Lately writer and star Heather McDonald explains her outrageous attempts to have it all—her way. Following her laugh-out-loud New York Times bestseller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Chelsea Lately writer and star Heather McDonald moves on from dating to motherhood with this new collection of outrageous essays chronicling her attempt to have it all—her way. This self-proclaimed “Real Housewife of Woodland Hills” is determined to achieve A-list status (thus expanding her entourage beyond her three school-age children and a househusband who is infuriatingly bad at collecting neighborhood gossip) and to defeat (or at least be accepted by) the mean neighborhood moms who judge her for taking her kids to a stripper pool party in Vegas. It’s a lot to juggle when she’s also battling Chelsea Handler and coworkers for the crudest practical jokes (just ask her about that “free” Vera Wang dress). . . .
Category: Humor

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

Author : Friends Chelsea's Family, and Other Victims
ISBN : 9781455504657
Genre : Humor
File Size : 82.32 MB
Format : PDF
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"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
Category: Humor

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Author : Chelsea Handler
ISBN : 9780446563536
Genre : Humor
File Size : 79.87 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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WHAT . . . A RIOT! Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG is good good good good! CHELSEA HANDLER ON... Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."
Category: Humor

Man Up

Author : Ross Mathews
ISBN : 9781455501793
Genre : Humor
File Size : 53.85 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what. It totally did. Now, with his first book, Ross takes us inside his journey as a super-fan, revealing the most embarrassing and hilarious moments of his small-town life and big-city adventures. From learning to swear like a hardened trucker to that time in high school when had to face down the most frightening opponent of all (his girlfriend's lady bits), Ross holds nothing back. Oh, then there's his surprisingly shady past involving the cutest pair of plus-sized women's pajama bottoms, deliciously dangerous pot butter, and embezzled sandwiches. And, of course, how he's managed to turn an obsession with pop-culture into one-on-one interactions with celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Tiffani-Amber Theissen, Madonna, Michelle Kwan, and countless more without ever having a single restraining order issued against him. Infused with Ross's trademark humor, unique voice, and total honesty, MAN UP! is a mission statement for anyone who doesn't fit the mold. His hasn't been the most traditional way to build a career in Hollywood, but Ross has somehow managed to make his mark without ever compromising who he is. He is as serious about this as he is about Golden Girls trivia: You don't need to change who you are to achieve your dreams (although there's nothing wrong with a makeover every now and then). You just need to Man Up!
Category: Humor

Are You There Vodka It S Me Chelsea

Author : Chelsea Handler
ISBN : 9781416596363
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 52.26 MB
Format : PDF
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The comedienne star of the Chelsea Handler Show describes her experiences with misbegotten boyfriends, her eccentric mixed-religion parents and the working world, a lifetime marked by numerous inebriated misadventures. Reprint. A #1 best-seller.
Category: Biography & Autobiography

Uganda Be Kidding Me

Author : Chelsea Handler
ISBN : 9781455599721
Genre : Humor
File Size : 37.30 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, UGANDA BE KIDDING ME has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.
Category: Humor

It Takes Balls

Author : Josh Wolf
ISBN : 9781455511693
Genre : Humor
File Size : 60.11 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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Josh Wolf--one of the stars and writers of Chelsea Lately and After Lately--delivers a hilarious collection of essays that reminds us all what it takes to conquer fatherhood without sacrificing manhood. Struggling to make it as a stand-up comic didn't always fit with being a single parent. But Josh figured out his own set of rules--through trial and (frequent) error. Early picking up kids from school? The nearby strip club is a great place to kill time and bond with some like-minded dads. Want a drunken heart-to-heart with your son? First make sure there's no Sharpie around in case you pass out. Wondering where to take that special someone at the end of the night? Remember that no sane woman will have sex with you in a one-bedroom apartment where your kids are sleeping--even if you promise to be really, really quiet. Whether it's revealing the secrets to limitless hookups (hint: it's single moms) and getting rid of your children's friends that you just can't stand (hint: it's not single moms), or blackmailing PTA members and ignoring health codes, Josh is sure to impart some parenting wisdom along the way. Or at least have a good time trying.
Category: Humor