DAVE BARRY 2017 DAY TO DAY CALENDAR LIVE RIGHT AND FIND HAPPINESS

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Live Right And Find Happiness Although Beer Is Much Faster

Author : Dave Barry
ISBN : 9780425280140
Genre : American wit and humor
File Size : 44.66 MB
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During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, American humourist Dave Barry has learned much of wisdom,* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed) and he is eager to pass it on to the next generation, the generation after that and to those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience. By the end of this book, if you do not feel wiser, richer in knowledge, more attuned to the universe... We wouldn't be at all surprised. But you'll have had a lot to laugh about!
Category: American wit and humor

Plane Of Thought

Author : Dave Barry
ISBN : 153988659X
Genre :
File Size : 48.95 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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A humorous,erotic,hard sci-fi novel. 5 stories spanning 173 years in the life of a town. Along the way,learn how we evolved from the BigBang,have a laugh and discover your own plane ofthought. There's plenty of wacky humour in the text andquotes on each page so you're never far from alaugh. There are explicit descriptions of sexual acts andadult language but the main thrust is science andpersonal relationships. There are lessons on cosmology in the town'suniversity which will amaze you. There are personal relationships that will get youthinking. This book could actually happen and it explainshow. It's the ideal companion whose last chapter hasthe author describing the writing of the book to youand explains how he wants it to be different fromanything else you've ever read. It certainly is.Should this book fail to make youexamine your own plane of thought....nothing will.
Category:

Rising Tide

Author : John M. Barry
ISBN : 9781416563327
Genre : Social Science
File Size : 71.55 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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An American epic of science, politics, race, honor, high society, and the Mississippi River, Rising Tide tells the riveting and nearly forgotten story of the greatest natural disaster this country has ever known -- the Mississippi flood of 1927. The river inundated the homes of nearly one million people, helped elect Huey Long governor and made Herbert Hoover president, drove hundreds of thousands of blacks north, and transformed American society and politics forever. A New York Times Notable Book of the Year, winner of the Southern Book Critics Circle Award and the Lillian Smith Award.
Category: Social Science

For This We Left Egypt

Author : Dave Barry
ISBN : 9781250110220
Genre : Religion
File Size : 26.53 MB
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The book you hold before you is no ordinary Haggadah. If you’ve ever suffered through a Seder, you’re well aware of the fact that the entire evening can last as long as the exodus from Egypt itself. There are countless stories, dozens of blessings, and far too many handwashings while the meal turns cold. Now prepare to be entertained by another version of the book that’s responsible for this interminable tradition. With this hilarious parody Haggadah from the comedic minds of Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mansbach, good Jews everywhere will no longer have to sit (and sleep) through a lengthy and boring Seder. In For This We Left Egypt?, the authors will be take you through every step of the Seder, from getting rid of all the chametz in your home by setting it on fire with a kosher blowtorch to a retelling of the Passover story starring Pharaoh Schmuck and a burning bush that sounds kind of like Morgan Freeman, set against the backdrop of the Promised Land—which turned out not to be a land of milk and honey but rather one of rocks and venomous scorpions the size of Yorkshire terriers. You then eat a celebratory brisket and wrap up the whole evening by taking at least forty-five minutes to say good-bye to everyone. So gather all the Jews in your life (even the few who don’t appear to be long-suffering) and settle in for a fun way to pass the time while waiting for Elijah to show up.
Category: Religion

The Worst Night Ever

Author : Dave Barry
ISBN : 9781484785980
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 81.72 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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Last year, Wyatt Palmer was the hero of middle school, having foiled a plot against the president of the United States. But now he and his friends are in Coral Cove High School—home of the Fighting Conchs—and Wyatt is no longer a hero: He's just another undersized freshman, hoping to fit in, or at least not be unpopular. Things start to go wrong when Matt Diaz, who is Wyatt's best friend but also unfortunately an idiot, decides to bring his pet ferret, Frank, to school. Through an unfortunate series of events Frank ends up in the hands of the Bevin brothers, who are the most popular boys at Coral Cove High, but are also, as Matt soon discovers, the nastiest. When Wyatt and Matt try to get Frank back, they concoct a plan to attend a party for the cool clique at the Bevin's waterfront mansion and stumble onto the Bevin family's dark and deadly secret. That's when Wyatt learns that some things are worse than being unpopular in high school. MUCH worse.
Category: Juvenile Fiction

Best State Ever

Author : Dave Barry
ISBN : 9781101982624
Genre : Humor
File Size : 43.37 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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A brilliantly funny exploration of the Sunshine State from the man who knows it best: Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times–bestselling author Dave Barry. We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, “What the hell is wrong with Florida?” Somehow, the state’s acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Sure, there was the 2000 election. And people seem to take their pants off for no good reason. And it has flying insects the size of LeBron James. But it is a great state, and Dave is going to tell you why. Join him as he celebrates Florida from Key West at the bottom to whatever it is that’s at the top, from the Sunshine State’s earliest history to the fun-fair of weirdness that it is today. It’s the most hilarious book yet from “the funniest damn writer in the whole country” (Carl Hiaasen, and he should know). By the end, you’ll have to admit that whatever else you might think about Florida—you can never say it’s boring. From the Hardcover edition.
Category: Humor

The Totally Unscientific Study Of The Search For Human Happiness

Author : Paula Poundstone
ISBN : 9781616207199
Genre : Humor
File Size : 88.50 MB
Format : PDF
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“A remarkable journey. I laughed. I cried. I got another cat.” —Lily Tomlin “Paula Poundstone is the funniest human being I have ever known.” —Peter Sagal, host of Wait Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me! and author of The Book of Vice “Is there a secret to happiness?” asks comedian Paula Poundstone. "I don’t know how or why anyone would keep it a secret. It seems rather cruel, really . . . Where could it be? Is it deceptively simple? Does it melt at a certain temperature? Can you buy it? Must you suffer for it before or after?” In her wildly and wisely observed book, the comedy legend takes on that most inalienable of rights—the pursuit of happiness. Offering herself up as a human guinea pig in a series of thoroughly unscientific experiments, Poundstone tries out a different get-happy hypothesis in each chapter of her data-driven search. She gets in shape with taekwondo. She drives fast behind the wheel of a Lamborghini. She communes with nature while camping with her daughter, and commits to getting her house organized (twice!). Swing dancing? Meditation? Volunteering? Does any of it bring her happiness? You may be laughing too hard to care. The Totally Unscientific Study of the Search for Human Happiness is both a story of jumping into new experiences with both feet and a surprisingly poignant tale of a single working mother of three children (not to mention dozens of cats, a dog, a bearded dragon lizard, a lop-eared bunny, and one ant left from her ant farm) who is just trying to keep smiling while living a busy life. The queen of the skepticism-fueled rant, Paula Poundstone stands alone in her talent for bursting bubbles and slaying sacred cows. Like George Carlin, Steve Martin, and David Sedaris, she is a master of her craft, and her comedic brilliance is served up in abundance in this book. As author and humorist Roy Blount Jr. notes, “Paula Poundstone deserves to be happy. Nobody deserves to be this funny.”
Category: Humor

Clear The Clutter Find Happiness

Author : Donna Smallin
ISBN : 9781612123523
Genre : House & Home
File Size : 87.93 MB
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Get rid of the clutter — and keep it away! Organizing expert Donna Smallin shows you how to enjoy the happy, healthy, and inviting home you long for with hundreds of time-saving, clutter-busting tips. Smallin’s simple and manageable approach helps you focus on the things that will make the biggest difference in the least amount of time. Clear away the clutter once and for all, and discover the peace of mind that has been hiding underneath.
Category: House & Home

Worst Class Trip Ever

Author : SANDY BEECH
ISBN : 9781471103773
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 20.63 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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SOS!! Think it would be fun to get stuck on a deserted island with the guy you sort of like? Well, try adding the girl who gets on your nerves big-time (and who's crushing on the same guy), the bossiest kid in school, your annoying little brother, and a bunch of other people. Oh, and have I mentioned that there's no way off this island, and no one knows where you are? Still sound great? Didn't think so. Now all I have to worry about is getting elected island leader while keeping my crush away from Little Miss Priss. Oh, and one other teeny-tiny little thing: surviving. Get me outta here!
Category: Juvenile Fiction

Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up

Author : Dave Barry
ISBN : 9780307758699
Genre : Humor
File Size : 56.64 MB
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Since Dave Barry writes about weird things, you might be tempted to think he has a weird brain. He does, of course, but that's not the whole explanation: A lot of the things he writes about -- exploding Pop-Tarts, for example -- are real. In fact, Dave's main job as a humor columnist -- aside from playing Stealth Fighter on his computer to avoid writing humor columns -- is to point out what is already funny in a world that is seriously bonkers. In Dave's world, amazing but true adventures occur every day, as the Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist investigates a ground-breaking anti-flatulence product recommended to him by a justice of the U.S. Supreme Court; the ecologically dangerous shellfish attacking women's undergarments; and the epidemic of snakes and woodland creatures currently appearing in people's toilets. Dave's bad song contest required him to read thousands of entries from people like you; now, people like you could have the pleasure of being badgered all the bad songs that badger Dave. Dave also participates in real-life form of investigative journalism that actually require him to leave the house: marching with the Lawn Rangers precision lawnmower drill team of Arcola, Illinois; playing lead guitar in an extremely mediocre rock band with Stephen King and other literary lights; and taking his little boat Buster from its happy berth in the Barry garage onto Miami's high seas, only to run it aground. He's even appeared in an episode of "Dave's World," the CBS television show based on his real life -- only taller -- in which he bids for an air conditioner. Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up includes longer feature pieces by Dave in which many of the featured facts happen to be accurate. Now you can read Dave Barry on UFO thrillseekers and the Elvis lovers who hang out at Graceland -- all articles that show Dave at his best and smartest. Complete with illustrations by Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Jeff MacNelly, Dave Barry is Not Making This Up brings you straight into the truly twisted center of Dave's world. On Buying His Son Sneakers: The salesperson's tone of voice carried the clear implication that he was going to call the Child Abuse Hotline if I didn't care enough, as a parent, to take out a second mortgage so I could purchase sufficient sneakerage for my son.... We need Congress to pass a law requiring the sneaker industry to return to the system we had when I was growing up, under which there was only one kind of sneakers, namely U.S. Keds, which were made from Army surplus tents and which cost about $10, or roughly $1 per pound. On Being Left-Handed: According to the researchers, left-handers die sooner than right-handers because they have more accidents. I know why this is: We read books backward...This saves us a lot of time with murder mysteries, but it's a bad habit when we're reading, say, the instructions for operating a barbecue grill, and we begin with "Step 147: Ignite Gas." On The Uses Of Exploding Pop-Tarts: When we detected incoming missiles, we'd simply hold the toaster levers down via some method (possibly involving Tom and Roseanne Arnold) and within a few minutes Whoom the country would be surrounded by a protective wall of flames, and the missiles would either burn up or get knocked off course and detonate harmlessly in some place like New Jersey. On Readers' Reaction To The Bad Song Contest: Sometimes the voters were so angry that they weren't even sure of the name of the song they hated. There were votes against "These Boots Are Made for Stomping"; the Beach Boys' classic "Carolina Girls"; "I'm Nothing But a Hound Dog"; and "Ain't No Woman Like the One-Eyed Gott." From the Hardcover edition.
Category: Humor