AWESOME SHT MY DRILL SERGEANT SAID WIT AND WISDOM FROM AMERICAS FINEST

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Awesome Sh T My Drill Sergeant Said

Author : Dan Caddy
ISBN : 9780062351975
Genre : Humor
File Size : 51.69 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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The official tie-in book to the wildly popular Facebook page, featuring brand-new crazy, off-the-wall, outrageously funny, and downright “awesome” pearls of wisdom from real-life drill sergeants and instructors from all branches of the military. Sweat dries. Blood clots. Bones heal. Suck it up, buttercup. After his deployment in Afghanistan, Dan Caddy began swapping great drill sergeant stories by e-mail with other combat veterans—an exchange with friends that would grow into the dedicated Facebook page, “Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said.” But what began as a comedic outlet has evolved into a robust online community and support network that conducts fundraisers for and donates to military charities, has helped veterans struggling with PTSD and other issues, and on numerous occasions, literally saved lives. Now, Caddy shares more great DS stories—most never before seen—in this humorous collection. Often profane, sometimes profound, yet always entertaining, these rants from real life soldiers are interspersed with lively sidebars, Top 10 lists, stories from fans, one-liners, and more. For anyone who has suffered a hard-ass manager (in uniform or not), Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said will add a much needed dose of humor to the day.
Category: Humor

More Shit My Dad Says

Author : Justin Halpern
ISBN : 9781743515105
Genre : Humor
File Size : 78.74 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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Read : 1138

"Growing up, every time I saw a men's magazine cover that had a headline about '73 Ways to Please Your Girlfriend', all I could think was 'I'm good with one; just tell me one way to please her. Also, I don't have a girlfriend. Is there an article about that?'" Soon after Sh*t My Dad Says began to take off, comic writer Justin Halpern decided to propose to his then girlfriend. But before doing so, he asked his dad's advice, which was very, very simple (and surprisingly clean): "Just take a day to think about it." This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, to the adventures and misadventures of teenage relationships. Crossing the warmth of The Wonder Years with the candour and observational humour of David Sedaris, this follow-up to the hottest comedy debut of last year is a hilarious, toe-curlingly true book about life, and love.
Category: Humor

Assholes Finish First

Author : Tucker Max
ISBN : 9781439198698
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 79.92 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Presents a new collection of alcohol-induced "fratire" adventures in hedonism that convey the author's experiences of being intoxicated at inappropriate times, seducing a large number of women, and otherwise living in complete disregard of social norms.
Category: Biography & Autobiography

Embarrassing Confessions Of A Marine Lieutenant

Author : Donny O'Malley
ISBN : 1943979006
Genre :
File Size : 78.47 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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A Marine Infantry Officer confesses his lust for killing and f!cking everything in sight, his desire to beat his boss's face in and frag the battalion staff, his willingness to risk Afghan civilians in order to save Marines, his burning desire to win a game of gay chicken at all costs, his personal mission to nail the combat reporter who joined his unit, his sexual arousal at the sight of ED (Enemy Death), and his inability to take serious things seriously; while planning and executing the last combat operation of his deployment in Afghanistan; a nighttime helicopter raid named, Operation Branding Iron Part 2.1A. (Continued from National Geographic's "Battlefield Afghanistan") This is undoubtedly the most honest and raw account of an Officer's thoughts and actions during combat that has ever been written. After publishing this book, Donny O'Malley's job options are now reduced to low level sales and day labor construction. It is still unclear how he ever made it out of the Marines without court martial. Senior officer's will slam him, military historians will be shocked, and all civilians will be 100% certain he's psychotic. Fortunately, the book is written for the opposite of those mentioned above. It's written for Enlisted guys. Officers who are brave enough to read will either cry themselves to sleep, jerk themselves off to Donny's picture, or will ask their buddies to write them up for an award with V for having the moral courage to finish the book.This book is a reach-around to all enlisted, and a F!CK YOU to every Officer who has ever written a politically correct, full-of-sh!t, "I'm a great leader," book about combat. Every single one of those fucking jerkoffs wrote a book for civilians that not a single enlisted guy ever gave two-shits about. The truth is that Marines love killing more than they love pvssy; they fantasize about mowing down insurgents with a 240 on post while 70 virgins take turns blowing them.This is who we are, and I'm sick and tired of nerdy book writers hiding our reality from the public. F!ck the public, they'll judge us and say we're psychotic until they watch an ISIS beheading video, and then they'll beg us to come out of our cage to fight the bad guys. At which time we'll head to the front line of evil and kill them all with a smile. Enjoy the read my brothers, this one's for you.
Category:

I Suck At Girls

Author : Justin Halpern
ISBN : 9780062113382
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 38.24 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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From the #1 New York Times bestseller author of Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, comes a laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships with the opposite sex, from a first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between. With Sh*t My Dad Says, Halpern brought his brand of talented comedic writing to the world. Now, with this equally poignant, hilarious, and provocative memoir, he establishes himself as one of popular writing’s great humorists among the likes of David Sedaris, Sarah Vowell, and David Rakoff. Fans of biting, honor-infused memoirs such as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Assassination Vacation will find Halpern’s I Suck at Girls an unforgettable journey into the best and worst moments of one man’s adventures in romance.
Category: Biography & Autobiography

Sh T My Dad Says

Author : Justin Halpern
ISBN : 9780062002945
Genre : Humor
File Size : 22.97 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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“This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society.” —Chelsea Handler “Read this unless you’re allergic to laughing.” —Kristen Bell “If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” —Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son’s relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.
Category: Humor

The White Donkey Terminal Lance

Author : Maximilian Uriarte
ISBN : 9780316362849
Genre : Comics & Graphic Novels
File Size : 64.61 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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New York Times Bestseller A graphic novel of war and its aftermath. A powerful, compulsively page-turning, vivid, and moving tribute to the experience of war and PTSD, The White Donkey tells the story of Abe, a young Marine recruit who experiences the ugly, pedestrian, and often meaningless side of military service in rural Iraq. He enlists in hopes of finding that missing something in his life but comes to find out that it's not quite what he expected. Abe gets more than he bargained for when his journey takes him to the middle east in war-torn Iraq. This is a story about a Marine, written and illustrated by a Marine, and is the first graphic novel about the war in Iraq from a veteran. The White Donkey explores the experience of being a Marine, as well as the challenges that veterans face upon their return home, and its raw power will leave you in awe.
Category: Comics & Graphic Novels

I Know What I M Doing And Other Lies I Tell Myself

Author : Jen Kirkman
ISBN : 9781476770284
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 72.43 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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"Jen offers up all the gory details of a life permanently in progress. She reassures you that it's okay to not have life completely figured out, even when you reach middle age (and find your first gray pubic hair). She talks about making unusual or unpopular life decisions (such as cultivating a 'friend with benefits' or not going home for the holidays) because you don't necessarily want for yourself what everyone else seems to think you should. It's about renting when everyone says you should own, dating around when everyone thinks you should settle down, and traveling alone when everyone pities you for going to Paris without a man"--Amazon.com.
Category: Biography & Autobiography

The Joy Of Leaving Your Sh T All Over The Place The Art Of Being Messy

Author : Jennifer McCartney
ISBN : 9781581575279
Genre : Humor
File Size : 39.71 MB
Format : PDF
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The New York Times bestseller that’s “LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY” (Elle Décor) and “SPOT-ON…with a healthy amount of cursing" (POPSUGAR) The anti-clutter movement is having a moment. You may have heard about a book—an entire book—written on the topic of tidiness and how “magical” and “life-changing” it is to neaten up and THROW AWAY YOUR BELONGINGS. Yes, you read that correctly. It’s time to fight that ridiculousness and start buying even more stuff and leaving it any place you want. Guess what, neatniks? Science shows that messy people are more creative.* Being a slob is an art, and there’s a fine line between being a consumer and being a hoarder. Don’t cross that line. This book shows you how to clutter mindfully and with great joy. The results are mind-blowing. Your plants will stop dying. Your whiskey bottle will never run dry. Your drugstore points will finally add up to a free jar of salsa and some nice shampoo. You’ll go shopping and discover you’ve lost weight... It's time to take back your life from the anti-clutter movement. *As well as smarter and more attractive.
Category: Humor

The Diva Rules

Author : Michelle Visage
ISBN : 9781452146850
Genre : Humor
File Size : 73.63 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Michelle Visage is not your average diva. Powerful, positive, and polished, this diva's not only glamorous, she's a savvy businesswoman with serious credentials who works her tail off. From her days vogueing in the downtown Manhattan clubs in the '90s to her successful career in radio and her ultimate cult status as a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race, Michelle has achieved her dreams and then some! In The Diva Rules, Visage shares her rules and advice for living life to the fullest and finding success no matter the hand you're dealt. With her no-nonsense style and super sassy voice, Michelle tells readers to Keep Your Shit Together
Category: Humor